Chapter 7
Something that Taron has wanted for a long time is to be able to say things unapologetically. He's always looking out for others. Always watching what he says and does so it doesn't hurt other people. Taron would love to take shots as his step father. But his sister and mother would suffer the consequences. He's wanted to hurt the ones that hurt him. He's wanted to hurt the ones that hurt his loved ones. But everyone knows that it wouldn't end well for anyone. Shielding his sister and walking on eggshells around everyone else really takes a toll on someone.
He laid back with his head against the wall. The old thoughts rushed back. Just as he thought he was okay. As things were finally looking up. Soft tears rolled down his face. There was no stopping them. He hit his head with the palm of him hand, wishing to get rid of everything. Everything. His step dad. His friends. His sister. His mom. He didn't deserve it. Not even his life did he think he deserved. A wish to scream and let it all out appeared in his mind. Taron pondered it, but knew he never could. Or would. There's too many people here. In his house. Everywhere. Stopping time would be really nice in this moment. Sometimes things come way too quick. And sometimes too slow. Taron wanted to know what y/n had to say. He really did. But he was also scared. Scared that he had done something wrong. Once again. It always seemed to be his fault. Everything that went wrong was somehow traced back to him in his mind. He had no energy to move. No motivation to either. But he thought of the blade and he reached forward, pulling it from under his mattress. Once again he slid it across his wrist, instantly regretting it. Why am I such and idiot?! Why can't I ever do anything right?! Blood poured out of his arm. But he didn't move. He let it drip onto his leg, paralyzed. Taron just stared. Completely numb. Empty. Lost. Stuck. Forever in a state where there was no help. No one. Alone. He wondered how it was even possible to feel this alone. He wanted to talk. But there was no hope. If he were to tell Tom, it could become awkward. What if he treated him differently? Tom was one of his only friends. And y/n? At this point I think it's out of the question. Taron has overthought this situation so much that he has completely convinced himself that she hates him. Maybe that she always has. Maybe she enjoys walking to school and she's just being nice. Maybe she's tired of all his questions and wants him to leave her alone for once.
