There was a time before all of this. Before the doctors and the hospitals. Before the screaming and the pills. I've forgotten that time, it was so long ago. Now my life is nothing but chaos, especially my mind. "Mental Illness", those words are thro...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I sat on my bed, my eyes kept darting back and forth between my hands and my clock. My hand shook vigorously, my mind was racing. Periodically there was a sniffle and I would raise my arm to wipe my eyes. My throat felt like it was closed off, I sat there gasping for air. I looked at the spread out on my bed, various pills, razors, and alcohol. This was bound to work. Nothing really mattered now, because this was it. I grabbed a razor, opened the booze, and took a deep breath. "Okay." The end.
***
I squinted my eyes, the lights were to bright. "Margo, good. Let's keep those eyes open." I tried to say something back but a painful moan emerged from my mouth. "It's okay sweetie, you don't need to talk yet." I closed my eyes.
***
Something on my arm was tight, I tried to move and rip it off. Someone else's hands were faster. "You need to keep this on, Its to take your blood pressure." Another moan escaped my mouth. "You don't need to talk yet." I heard again.
***
Eyes opened, wider this time. There was something over my mouth. I was confused. I tried to move my arm to take it off but my arms wouldn't move. I craned my neck to see I had restraints on my wrists. My wrists were also covered in heavy bandages, there was an IV in my left arm. This time instead of a moan, a piercing scream escaped my lips. My legs were tied down and I began to kick. I attempted to move my arms, but the restraints were too good. I could hear people trying to get my attention but I kept thrashing around. "Give her the B52." I turned my head to match a voice with a body and it was a man in a paramedic uniform. I watched another paramedic shoot something through my IV. I screamed again, they put my legs in restrains. Moments later I was unconscious again.
***
Beep...beep...beep.
I opened my eyes slowly. I was somewhere different. I still had a mask on my face. I was still in restrains. I was still hooked up to machines. The IV was still in my arm. I tried taking a deep breathe, my lungs burned. I scanned the room. I was in the hospital, I had failed. I cursed to myself. The lady sitting at my door noticed I was awake and walked over to me. "How are you feeling?" She asks me.
"Like shit," my voice was raspy. it sounded like I had been screaming for hours.The lady slightly smiled.
"I'm going to go fetch the doctor." She turned and stepped back into the hall. Moments later a tall, slim man with black hear and glasses stepped into my room with a thick folder. He sat in the chair facing the computer. He logged himself in and scrolled around for a moment, he set the folder down and faced me.
"Margo Tate, I'm Dr.Aspen, It's nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you, too." I said softly under my mask. Dr.Aspen stood and walked over to me, he took the bulky mask off my face and replaced it with a tube that had two little nubs to put in my nose. "Thank you. Is it possible I could get these off?" I jiggled the restraint on my wrist. He made a tsk noise and looked me in the eyes.
