Camilla

nineteen

G I L L I G A N

I wanted to say how I felt the same. I wanted to tell Camilla that I was so glad I hadn't left that day. I wanted to kiss her so bad.

But I also didn't want to ruin what we had.

Camilla had confirmed that she didn't hate me and that she trusted me, but that was it. There was no way I was going to risk her not talking to me ever again just so I could be like, "Oh, while we're having this deep discussion, I think you're perfect and would love it if we could be more than friends now that you've acknowledged I am in fact, not the worst person in the world."

Yeah fucking right.

We left shortly after, her excuse being that she had to pick Mae up from Taylor's house.

It's now Monday, and Camilla and I have not said a word to each other since she dropped me off at my house on Saturday.

There's fifteen minutes until English starts, and I don't know what was going to happen. I mean, she'd opened up to me this weekend, and the only thing I could give her back was her fucking name. 

What the hell is wrong with me? 

Maybe I'm over reacting. I do that a lot. 

Those last fifteen minutes, however, go by fast. Probably because I'm nervous as fuck for the upcoming confrontation. Time never slows down when you want it to. 

Camilla is either going to smile at me or pretend I do not exist for the next hour.

And I'm pretty sure it's going to be the latter.

Taylor is already in the classroom when I get there, and she looks concerned. When I sit down, she turns to me, the same worried expression on her face.

"Have you heard from Camilla?"

I shake my head, and her frown grows deeper. "She's not here today."

"Well, send her message," I shrug. I don't understand why she's so concerned. People skip school all the time, and this is Camilla we're talking about.

"I've sent twenty." Her leg starts bouncing up and down.

" I'm sure she's fine." 

To be honest, I'm not sure. But Taylor already looks worried, and I'm not about to add to that with my oh yeah, maybe she's lying dead in a ditch somewhere. We should probably check that out. 

Taylor's head snaps toward me so fast I'm surprised the thing didn't snap clean off and fall to the floor. "You don't understand, Gilligan. She could be hurt." Something tells me that in this case, I really don't understand what she's talking about. 

"Think, Taylor. She's a boxer. I'm sure she's not hurt." Again, not true. Just because you kick people's asses to earn a living doesn't mean you're safe from swerving off the road. 

Taylor sighs. "Right. She's a boxer." She nods as if reassuring herself. "I think I'll just drive over to her house for lunch. Sorry, but you'll be all alone today."

"I could always come with you, you know."

Taylor shakes her head. "We both know that's not the smartest idea."

I frown, mostly because I know she's right. My eyes shift over to look at Camilla's empty desk, and it makes my frown deepen. "Yeah," I turn to face the front. "I know."