⋆Ariana's POV⋆
The guilt never leaves. It just comes back harder, and harder. I feel like, I'm telling someone not to do something, yet I'm doing it myself! I'm such a hypocrite.
You're probably wondering what exactly happened... well... I don't even know. Chaz is a great friend... and he's known to be the idiot... a lot. But he's really nice.
Chaz asked me to dance... just in a friendly way. Nothing too close or whatever. He kinda said it like a joke. But I agreed and we danced...
Same thing over and over again. You hear this shit all the time! I looked into his eyes... blah blah blah and he just leaned in for a kiss.
But then he realized he did something wrong, so that's one good thing. Because if he didn't realize, it would just be so awkward.
I'm not saying that it isn't awkward not because it is, but at lease I'm not the only one feeling guilty.
I seriously hope no one saw. If someone saw, they're gonna tell Justin right away.
Every time I see Justin, the guilt rushes back.
And I'm seeing him today.
All day.
All because of school. Otherwise, I wouldn't really have as much guilt. I don't know how to tell him! what do I do? just walk up to him and say "your best friend and I kissed"
Now I know exactly how it felt. How hard it was for Justin to tell me the truth. It's so frustrating when you tell the truth and they ask "why didn't you tell me earlier" and all that shit.
It's really hard as fuck. I don't understand how some couples can be so honest. I am only 16, and I haven't experienced everything in the world, but I feel that I should have known better.
Justin has been honest with me this whole time... at lease I think he is. If he's hiding something, I'll let him keep it because I bet mines would be ten times worse.
--
"We do not mention this to anyone" Chaz whispered.
"But what if someone saw" I whisper-yelled.
"Don't jinx it!"
"It's not my fault! I feel so guilty!"
"Still!?"
"What do you mean still!?"
"You haven't stopped thinking about it?"
"Um... unlike you, I'm in a relationship and kissing you doesn't help improve it! you don't have a girlfriend, so kissing me doesn't effect anything, but the face that I have a boyfriend!"
"Justin's gonna kill me!"
"You said that yesterday!"
"No shit because I'm scared as hell! Justin isn't gonna give me five bucks!"
"What?"
"The last time I was at McDonalds, Justin was... I think in the hospital? I forgot... but something and so Justin got pissed off 'cause... you know, never mind. and so he owed my five bucks ever since"
"I don't know 'you know what'"
"It's not important"
"Seriously"
"He was pissed at you 'cause you weren't there for him and all that shit. OKAY! let's change the topic. Um-"
"-Hey!" Justin interrupted.
"H-hey..." Chaz hesitated.
"Babe? can you come by my house after school?" Justin asked, putting an arm on my shoulder.
"Sure" I smiled.
"Love you" he said kissing me on the cheek.
"L-love you too" I said, giving him a fake smile.
Shit. Why does he always have to say 'love you'!? it makes me feel guiltier and guiltier.
I have to tell him... right? what kind of girlfriend would I be if I wasn't honest? but what kind of girlfriend would I be if I did that. Oh my god.
---
I walked into my homeroom, and sat down beside Justin.
"Hey babe" he smiled.
"Hey" I said, giving him a fake smile.
"So class! we are debating on where to go as a class. We have many suggestions for you. First option, Vancouver B.C. second option, Paris, France and last, Sydney Australia."
"YES! A VACATION AWAY FROM MY ANNOYING SISTER!" Chaz yelled.
"Shh." the teacher shushed. "We're only going for 4 days! Raise your hand up for Vancouver."
I kept my hand down. There were about 9/32 people.
"Paris?"
I kept my hand down.
About 19 students.
"And Sydney."
I shot my hand up.
There were 5 people... wow...
"Paris it is!"
Everyone was cheering so loud.
Paris? I've already been there. It's not that interesting. I actually really want to go to Australia.
"Babe what's wrong?" Justin asked.
"I didn't want to go to Paris"
"But babe, it'll be fun"
"I've been there... not that interesting."
"Where did you want to go?"
"Australia."
"Oh. but are you coming to Paris?"
"Maybe..."
"Please! I want to surprise you with something there"
"Like what?"
"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you... right?"
"Please!?"
"Nope"
"Please, I promise I won't freak out."
"No"
"I love you"
"That won't work"
"Ugh. It works on me every time!"
"I love you baby"
"I love you too" I smiled.
He's surprising me with something now? shit.
-
"Class dismissed!"
Fuck. What the hell am I gonna do.
"Hey" Chaz said, bumping me.
"Hey" I said quietly.
"Ariana, seriously, let it go."
"How the fuck am I suppose to let it go!? he's my boyfriend and he's surprising me with something."
"Is it the thing he was talking about when he said 'come to my house after school'."
"I don't think so..." I said slowly.
"Look, I know it's bothering you, and I'm so fucking sorry about the shit that happened last night, but just forget about it."
"I know you're sorry, and I forgive you. I don't hate you, you're still one of my best friends. But it's not that easy."
"I don't know, I got to go to my next class"
"Okay, bye"
I bet the surprise is gonna make me wanna cry because he's treating me so well, while I'm treating him like shit.
YOU ARE READING
bullied
Fanfiction****CURRENTLY UNDER EDITING**** Justin and Ariana always had a rough relationship. It wasn't until Justin realized his actions only cleared up how he really felt about Ariana. As troubles in Justin's home begins to worsen, Ariana discovers what rea...
