:faking it

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DILLON MARLA JONES

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Since the party I hadn't faced the outdoors in a while, I'd spoke on text briefly with some of the boys but nothing that actually held a conversation

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Since the party I hadn't faced the outdoors in a while, I'd spoke on text briefly with some of the boys but nothing that actually held a conversation.

Kian had been a little weird too, but I guessed that he had a new girl and that he didn't want to show her how close we were to put her off or anything.

It was completely understandable and I passed it off with a shrug.

I hadn't been writing either, which was bad because it was my only income that paid for the house I lived in and the food I ate. Not that I could do anything about it because after a few days of hibernation I realised my dumbass had left my laptop at Kian's.

I was stubborn and began to write on my phone that connected to my laptops documents, instead of just calling round just so that I didn't have to show them how rough I looked recently.

Jc called one afternoon, he already sounded a little tipsy but he said that everyone was round and that Kian wasn't coming out of his room and the only way he knew how to get him to get involved was to force me along too.

They weren't doing much when I turned up, just chatting and drinking but like Jc had said Kian was no where to be seen.

"KIAN, DJ'S HERE" Jc hollered down the hall as I politely took off my shoes and took off my outdoor jacket at the door.

I was wearing grey sweat pants and a cropped jumper that hung loosely off of one shoulder to make it look like the casual look was more planned than it was.

Kian burst through the door and rushed towards me, he didn't even say hi before he pulled me into the tightest hug, his face buried deep into my collar as he held my small frame.

"Are you okay?" I whispered in disbelief at his clingy state but when he pulled away he looked completely normal, no sleep deprived eyes or tear stained cheeks.

"Yeah" he said with a small sad smile before scratching the back of his neck "i just missed you, I guess"

The softness to his voice made my lips tug upwards and a warm filming spread through the entirety of my body. He noticed my smile and mirrored it back, his eyes still a flash of vulnerability.

He turned to walk back to his room, this time with his hand laced with mine but I pulled him back and scowled.

"Jc wanted us to hang" I said quietly nodding towards the group who seemed to be talking in slurrs.

Kian brought up his thumb and began to chew on the nail as he looked from my face to where his friends sat and then back to me. He looked panicked and I became extremely confused.

"Are you okay with that?" He asked and I shrugged, I'd done it before and I'd do it again if it meant that Kian was happy and socialising.

I cared about him more than me.

"Ki, whats up?" I asked again cupping his face between both my hands, he looked down at his feet as his hands locked at the small of my back.

"You know I love you, right?" He asked and I giggled and nodded my head but his face stayed linear, he was starting to worry me.

"I love you too, more than anything" I whispered and his eyes flickered up towards me and finally a real and genuine smile began to take ahold of his face.

"If it gets too much just-"

"I'm fine" I insisted before he could even finish his sentence and he nodded as if he understood and lead me over towards his friends. They all said hi but went back to their conversations.

I sat down comfortably and pulled my legs into a cross, still playing with the ends of my jumper to keep me occupied. My glasses were kind of falling off of my face so I pushed them back up and was met with a stare from Kian.

He seemed to have calmed down from earlier but he still looked slightly anxious so I shuffled a fraction closer to him so that he could feel my presence.

It wasn't long before he rested his arm on the backrest and his fingers found their way to the tips of my hair. He always played with it so gently that it almost made me fall asleep.

"Let's ask DJ if it's a word" Jc argued back but I'd completely missed the first half of the conversation and was left with no clue on what they were talking about.

"How would she know? She didn't even go to high school" Corey laughed back but I felt as Kian tensed next to me. I placed a reassuring hand upon his thigh and he significantly calmed.

"Actually I did" I mumbled causing everyone to look at me in disbelief, I barely ever spoke in such large groups but I felt the need to stick up for myself for once "and then I was homeschooled, and then I wrote a bestselling novel that sold out worldwide"

The group gasped at my sassy response as I looked down towards my fiddling fingers.

"What? Im just saying" I whispered.

All of a sudden Jc started to clap and after seconds the rest of the group began to join in until some of them were hooting, shouting towards Corey that he had just been cancelled.

"Does that mean you never played any of the stereotypical party games? Like the whole high school experience?" Asked Jc leaning back on his arms as he assessed my nervous and hunched body.

"Um what like?" I questioned pushing my glasses further up onto my head, the only reason I was feeling so able to talk was because Kian had interlocked our fingers again and was running his thumb over my knuckles.

"Spin the bottle?"

I shook my head and giggled.

"Truth or dare?"

I once again shook my head and tightened my grip of Kian's hand, I was sure he could feel how sweaty I was due to all the eyes staring at me.

"Seven minutes in heaven? Fuck, marry, kill?"

I chewed the nails of my free hand and shook my head one final time.

"I have an idea" gasped Jc as he took another chug of his drink "let's give DJ the stereotypical party experience"

Everyone started to agree and cheer for it to happen and I felt my heart start to race but I tried to keep a brave face.

I felt as Kian leaned forward and brought his lips to my ear as he whispered,

"Dilly, are you sure this is okay?"

I pulled away and made full eye contact with him, my eyes becoming lost in his coffee swirled eyes and my heart starting to soften the longer I stared.

"I guess we'll find out" I shrugged.

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