Twilight//Woosan

32

San kept his eyes on the floor when he walked into the room, followed by Seonghwa and Mingi a bit farther behind. He could hear noises around him, voices that silenced when the group of three walked through the doorway. He heard shuffling and then a pair of feet appeared in his line of vision, shuffling from side to side slightly.

"San?" Hongjoong's voice asked quietly, asking too many unspoken questions. Are you still angry? Are you going to lash out again? Are you okay?

San slowly lifted his head, eyes trailing up the body in front of him. He dragged his eyes up to meet Hongjoong's, hearing small gasps when he lifted his head. There was a bruise that trailed from his cheekbone into his hair, evidence of his own dark thoughts. Hongjoong sucked in a breath and cursed quietly, reaching forward to grab San's shoulders.

"San" he repeated, this time his voice was forceful, demanding, and San knew what he wanted. He wanted an explanation, even though they all knew what haf happened.

"What?" San answered in a small voice, fists clenching at his sides. He looked to the side, face turning away from the others, eyes on the wall instead of the worried, disappointed faces of his friends.

"San, why?" Hongjoong asked gently turning San's face towards his, sad eyes observing the bruise.

"I- I dont know" San mumbled, closing his eyes so that he didnt have to look at anyone.

"You promised that you wouldn't again, not after last time" Hongjoong spoke sadly, reaching up to gently run his fingers along the length of the discolored skin. San flinched at the pressure, apparently he had hit himself harder than he thought.

"I know" San continued to mumble, biting his lip to try and distract himself from the pressure behind his eyes. He didnt want to cry again, he had already wasted too much time being weak.

"Then why?" Hongjoong asked again and San tightened his clenched fists. He wanted to scream and yell about how it was all Hongjoong's fault, that he had caused this but he couldnt. He couldn't because it was no ones fault but his own. He did it and he has to take the blame for it. He felt an irrational flash of anger, anger at himself, at Hongjoong, Seonghwa, the group, the world. He wanted to tear it all down and start over. But that wouldnt happen.

"Because I fucking wanted to" he hissed through clenched teeth, as hard as he tried, he just couldn't totally control the anger. It still seeped through his words and Hongjoong stepped back, nodding solemnly.

"Alright then" he stated, knowing that there was nothing he could do to make San talk. If San was already on a fuse then Hongjoong wouldnt push it, they had better things to do than fight each other.

"Can we talk like civilzed people now?" Hongjoong asked, falling into the captain role he always had.

"I dont know, can we?" San muttered and Hongjoong rolled his eyes.

"Look San, dont try and pick a fight. We need to talk about everything and make a plan to get Wooyoung back, alright?" Hongjoong sighed. He was just tired of this, all of it. He was tired of fighting and crying and yelling all the time, they all just needed to talk.

"Fine. Talk" San demanded, walking over to fall into an armchair, ignoring the others scattered around the room.

"I know that you're upset at us and I admit, we could have done better than we did but we wanted to wait for you, we were worried about you alot. We figured that you would know what happened and where Wooyoung was. We never suspected that Seojun had come again." San could understand their reasoning but that didnt mean that he wasnt upset with them. They should have tried to do more even if they were worried.

"Okay" San stated staring at the ceiling. It wasnt forgiveness or rejection, it was merely an acceptance. He let out a breath, closing his eyes briefly. This was all way too stressful.

"We need to leave here" he continued after a few moments, letting his head roll forward to look at Hongjoong again.

"I know but where are we going? Why did Seojun take Wooyoung with him?" Hongjoong asked meeting San's gaze. There was still tension between them but they could work together for the sake of getting Wooyoung back safely.

"The Mainland, Seojun was on a job to find and return Wooyoung to where ever he was before he found us. Hes back there and we're all wasting our time here fighting like a bunch of whiny bitches" San sighed. He would admit that he was part of that, they were all wasting their time here.

"Alright, so Mainland but theres one problem with that plan, we dont know where Wooyoung's whore house is" Hongjoong had a valid point but San had already thought of this. A slow grin spread across his lips and Hongjoong looked at him confused. That was a look he hadnt seen in years, it was unsettling.

"San, what do you have planned?" He asked cautiously, an uneasy feeling in his stomach. When San got that look someone was going to die. They had only seen that look once before and that was right before San had killed Troy, the man who had helped in the rape and murder of his sister. It had been scary, watching the lighthearted grin on San's face be replaced with a stone cold stare. How he had tortured him with no mercy, reveling in the sounds of the others pained screams.

San smirked, all traces of his usual warmth were gone.

"I'm gong to hunt down Seojun and make that fucker pay for all the years he terrorized me. I'm going to make him wish that he had never ever looked in Wooyoung's direction" Hongjoong tensed at the words. Had it really gotten to this point? The point where San was just so angry that he didnt even care about his fear anymore, throwing everything out into the wind to be carried away.

"Really?" Seonghwa asked from the doorway where he and Mingi still stood. He had concern swimming in his eyes. He had never liked it when San got this way even if he, himself got this way often. In his eyes San was too young, too joyful to be this way.

"Yes, I'm tired of dealing with his shit and sitting there while he takes everything that I care about" San stated, resolution clear in his voice. He had made up his mind after his break down. He had called himself weak, told himself that he needed to grow up and save Wooyoung before he lost the chance forever.

"Just please- please dont lose yourself to this because if you do, when you get Wooyoung back, he wont know you, it would confuse and scare him. You would be someone totally different and it would break him San, dont go over board with this" Seonghwa accepted San's resolve reluctantly, giving him advice with that same dark tone from earlier. He had been through too much and San knew he was speaking from experience even if he didnt know what had happened.

" I know Hwa, I just need to get this done, for both myself and Wooyoung" San's gaze softened slightly, looking up at the worried look on Seonghwa's face.

"I'll be okay" he reassured and the older gave a small nod, leaning into Mingi's arms when they were wrapped around him. He felt the warmth seep through his shirt and finally, for the first time in what felt like such a long time, he felt like they would be okay. All of them.

"Alright, are we ready to go then?" San pushed himself up to stand, stretching his arms above his head with a quiet groan. He ruffled his hair with a crooked grin, excitement evident in his eyes.

"Yeah, let's go" Hongjoong grinned back, looking at the other three behind him. They all looked ready, grim expressions on their faces. They all grabbed their stuff, walking out the door and down the hallway. San slowed when they reached outside, closing his eyes and lifting his face towards the sun. He opened his eyes and looked out to the sea, finding their ship bobbing gently on the waves. San felt excitement bubble in his chest, making him feel jittery and anxious.

He couldn't wait for this all to be over.