This must be crazy love | Mashikyu

[15] Rejected wishes

                ➷ Takata Mashiho

"He left, and he is never coming back. Noa is never coming back." i heard junkyu said, i peek behind the wall and i saw him with his circle of friends standing infront of a colorful painting.

But thats not what catches my attention. Who is Noa? Who's that guy Junkyu is talking about and why does he look so hurt just by mentioning the name?

I heard yedam sighed, later on his friends left, leaving junkyu alone infront of the colorful painting.

I took a deep breath and approach junkyu, pretending i didn't hear anything. "Hi junkyu hyung!"

He look at me and flash a smile.

"Hey mashi!" he greeted back and raised his hand for a hi-five, but instead i hug him, burying my face on his chest.

"I miss you so much."

My eyes widen, did i just say it out loud?

"I miss you too mashi." he replied, planting a kiss on my forehead.

Then there goes my stupid heart, beating extra fast. I didn't wanna fall in love, heaven knows that i don't want to. Not until he smiled, thats it, i blew it.

"Mashi." junkyu whispered, still hugging me tightly while playing with my hair, i hummed as a response.

"Would you rather watch the sunrise with me later or watch the sunrise with me tomorrow morning?" he ask all of a sudden, i look up to him and smiled.

"You know i would love to do both, as long as im with you." i answered, i want to disown myself for saying cringe things.

Junkyu smiled and nodded. "Right, lets do both."

I smiled back at him before taking a glance at the colorful painting.

Kazama Noa?

"Hmm, i see, a japanese painter is the one behind this wonderful painting. Don't you think so junkyu hyung?" i stated, i felt how the atmosphere change upon my statement.

"Yeah, its wonderful, but it somehow radiates an energy of a 'disaster'" he replied, letting go of the hug and facing the painting.

"How can you say that?" i ask in curiosity.

Isn't the painter of this Art and the guy junkyu mentioned earlier are the same person? I don't have a good feeling about this.

"Who knows, whats the backstory of this painting, the painter probably has his own reasons for choosing to paint this one. Who knows how the painter sacrifice and take risk to finish it." he added, completely making me confused.

"Maybe you're right, i wonder why the painter named this artwork 'Colorless Sunset' when in fact it has variety of colors, a colorful painting." i replied, still confused on his statement a while ago.

He seems to notice how confused i am, he suddenly held my hand and shake his head a little. "Just forget what i said, lets go and watch the sunset before its too late."

I nodded and followed him, we decided to climb at the cliff not too far from the museum, its really a peaceful  place, you can clearly have a view of the whole city. We stood side by side and leaned forward at the railings.

"Its beautiful." i whispered as i saw how the sky slowly turns into a combination of pink, yellow, and orange.

He turned to look at me and smiled. "Indeed."

                 ➷  Kim Junkyu

We silently watch the sunset, i am still contemplating either i should ask him the same questions i ask a few years ago to Noa or not.

I took a deep breath and sighed, still looking at the sunset. "Do you prefer the sunset or the sunrise? In the count of three, we should both say our answers okay?"

I saw in my peripheral vision how mashiho smiled and nodded upon my question, he stares deeply at the view infront of us.

"1"

"2"

"3"

"SUNRISE!"

We both laugh and took glances at each other upon hearing the same answer. "Why do you prefer the sunrise mashi?"

"Both sunrise and sunset are breath-takingly beautiful but watching the sunset sometimes make me feel lonely and sad without a reason." he explained, suddenly a memory came into my head.

"The sunset is more mesmerizing and meaningful, it is as if saying how you did well throughout the day and that you manage to overcome it, it symbolizes that we can already let go."

"While the sunrise represents a new beginning." we said in unison still looking at the sunset.

Mashiho and i have a lot of things in common. Somehow i felt like finally somebody understand my whole being from the same stand and perspective.

"I always believe that people come and go, some of them are by chance and some of them are destined and fated to. If there is a 50/50 chance of every person passing by in your life to come and go then why would you not take that time as your chance to look and see if that person is meant to stay or only meant to pass by and leave memories?" he justified, i was lost in words upon hearing his statement.

It hits me. Right, he's right.

"I never think of that before, no one ever made me think of something like that." i replied. He let out a small laugh and smiled widely.

We stayed in a comfortable silence after our deep conversation. Everything is really different, this is like a dejavu of my memories 3 years ago but in a different version. Somebody came and finally understands and shares the same perspective like i do.

We spend our time staring and exchanging intimate and calming glances with each other, completely ignoring the sunset.

But today is different from 3 years ago. Enjoying the comfortable silence watching and observing the sunset. We didn't talk much after our small conversation, but for me it didn't matter, we are atleast looking at the same sky together, i find it more intimate than actually looking and exchanging glances with each other.

I remember a qoute from the book of John Green entitled 'Turtles all the way down'.

"Anybody can look at you. Its quite rare to find someone who sees the same world you see."

Noa, i never imagined that i would regret wasting my rejected wishes on you.