Chapter Seven

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"My mom came back to me first, right after you showed me the painting I left in your car," I told Calin. "By the way, that was meant for your mother."

Calin stood up and looked down at me, and then shook his head. His mouth opened, then closed it, and he rolled his eyes to the ceiling. Stepping back, he sat on the edge of the side of the bottom of my bed, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. When Calin finally looked up again, he met my gaze from beneath hooded lids with a mixture of confusion, surprise, and more than anything else, hurt that I hadn't confided in him until he called me out.

It made me want to explain, but I held back. While I didn't want to hurt him, and I knew I needed his help, it should be enough that I was telling him now. I could have dodged his questions or told him only enough to explain my mother's Book of Shadows. Heck, I could have just played dumb or lied to say that I didn't remember how I found it. But, despite not understanding what I felt, my emotions for Calin made it impossible to out-and-out lie to him.

"So, you..." Calin sighed and dragged his hand down his face, and then clasped his hands again in his lap. "You've had your memory back for almost a week and you never said anything?"

"Don't be mad."

"What do you expect me to be?"

I held his gaze for a moment and then took a deep breath. "Understanding?" I nodded. "I haven't remembered everything. Considering my life, I expect you to understand how getting bits at a time would be confusing. Why would I discuss with someone else something I don't understand?"

"Because I can help?"

"Did you grow up in Briarville?"

"No."

"Do you live with Devland?"

"No."

"Do you have a prankster framing you?"

"No, but—"

"Then how can you possibly help me figure out how to make sense of all that?"

"Have you? Made sense of all that?" He raised his hands to make finger quotes. "You shouldn't have to deal with everything alone, Nora, and Luna isn't the only one who cares. You have me and Maible, and even though she can't talk, there's Onyx. Don't you trust us?"

"It's not that simple!" I have Zachariah.

I turned back around to pay attention to the journal because saying that aloud would only make Calin think that I was crazy. Zachariah was dead and couldn't have helped me, which is why I wasn't about to explain that to Calin anytime soon, though he was right that I should trust someone.

Little did he know, Onyx was my closest confidante, but that was only because she couldn't betray me with words. I wanted to trust Calin—my reaction to him hadn't changed since we met, and the world fell away. I couldn't forget how we met, though. The fact that he'd dated Duvessa left doubts about what kind of guy he really was, despite how he acted since I'd gotten to know him. As for Maible... Even without my memory from before the accident, I could see the hold that Devland had over her. She did whatever he said, so how could I trust that she didn't tell him whatever he wanted to know? Besides, the one time I confided in her by showing her my abilities, she had somehow forgotten all about it.

"What's hard about it? You do or you don't," Calin said and punctuated his question with what sounded like the back of his hand slapping against his palm. "Do you trust me?"

A week ago, I would have said yes without hesitation. Now? "I haven't sorted through the gaps yet, but I trust you would never hurt me."

"So, we're back to how it was before your accident? I chase you and you run, only pausing to catch your breath before fleeing again?" Calin sighed and the rustling of bed covers sounded. "I can't go back to that after getting to know each other so well."

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