Gwilym Lee Imagines

Why Me? Part Two - Brian May

I feel like shit this morning. I didn't get any sleep, and instead I used that time to think over everything that happened last night in extraordinary detail. I definitely fucked up, that's for sure. But I guess the good thing about staying up last night is that I also found a way to try and apologize to Brian. I just really hope he'll accept it.

Arriving into the studio this morning, everything just seemed tense. Everyone is so silent, I swear they could hear my heart beating rapidly. I cough to try and clear my throat.

"I - uh. I brought coffee this morning." My voice is quiet but the boys still take their respective cups. But they do this without even looking at me, and that bothers me until I realize there's one cup left. "Brian, you don't want your coffee?"

"No thanks, not right now." His voice is cold and distant and it makes my heart drop just hearing it. I take a step closer to him, but he also avoids looking at me, pretending to look busy.

"Brian, can I talk to you for a moment, please?" I plead.

"Not right now, Y/N. I'm busy, and so are you." He brushes past me which sets me aback. Brian has never refused to talk to me before, often being the one to start the conversation himself. Guilt crushes me ten times worse than before when I realize just how much I must have hurt him for him to act like this towards me. I sigh and start to begin my day of work around here. I guess I'll just have to keep trying. And that's exactly what I did. All day. And every time he turned me away. Nobody has talked to me all day which has honestly left me feeling hopeless.

I now lie in my bed, wide awake. I check the clock beside me and see that it's almost one in the morning. Nope, I can't do this, not again. I need to do something now and I need to do something drastic. I quickly get out of bed and put on my shoes before racing out to my car. "I'm so going to get fired for this."

*************

Two hours of sleep within 48 hours and I am thriving. I arrived to the studio early this morning opting to get everyone breakfast and I feel like I'm about to face plant into my coffee. I think I'm actually about to do it when the boys and Paul walk in and sit down in their usual seats around the recording studio, except Brian who leans against the door, and they ignore the breakfast I've laid out for them. Now that's just rude.

"Hey guys." John speaks up, his voice a little quiet. "There's a new recorded tape here and it's not ours." I feel my heart thud in my chest and I sit up straighter.

"What?" Brian asks, moving to John with the rest of the boys. "How can there be a new recording?"

"How the fuck should we know?" Roger says heatedly. "We've been the only people in here for the last month."

"Okay, then explain how there is a new recording if we're the only ones that have been here?" But before Roger even has a chance to reply to Brian, Freddie interrupts.

"Guys, there's a better way to sort this out than argueing." When nobody says anything, Freddie rolls his eyes as if the answer is obvious. "Play it, of course. We have to start somewhere." They all nod in agreement and John presses play, filling the room with a single voice.

"Hello, Brian. And most likely everyone else, too." They all tense at the sound of my voice, but still nobody looks at me. Did I go too far again? "I know this is something that I should definitely not be doing, but I kinda don't know what else to do and this seems like the best idea for 1 in the morning. I just wanted to say that I am so sorry Brian for everything I said the other night. I knew I messed up as soon as I said it. The truth is, Brian, I really want to be with you too." I see Brian stand up straighter at this, giving me a little bit of hope.

"Everything I said that night," my voice continues, "those were just my insecurities, the things I had been saying to myself over and over again to prove to myself that I don't deserve you, that your too good for me. And that's true. You are too good for me, you all are. Except for you, Paul. But, anyway, I miss you. I miss all of you. Again, not including you, Paul. It's torture not having you guys talk to me. I miss my funny, goofy family. You guys mean the world to me and I love you all. I especially love you, Bri.

"But, yeah, that's all I have to say. I hope you can forgive me, Brian." Everything cuts to silence. I sit in my seat, my knee bouncing with anxiety as I wait for someone to say something. Sadly, the person who I least wanted to talk, starts talking.

"You do know that this is grounds for you getting fired? Or even arrested if we so wished?" Paul says harshly, his beady eyes set on me and I have the sudden urge to bitch-slap him across the room. "You broke in and used the equipment that's not yours to use. You could have broken something or even..."

"Oh, shut up drama queen. All because I'm currently an assistant, doesn't mean I don't know my way around a recording studio. And so what if I get fired, it was worth it." I hope. Paul scoffs.

I see movement at the corner of my eye and then Brian is standing in front of me, an unreadable expression on his face. He just stands there, staring at me and I search his eyes, having no idea what he is going to do next. That is until he leans forward, stopping just before his lips touch mine as a silent question. Is this okay? Sighing in relief, I close the gap between up and Brian eagerly kisses me back. Now this definitely does feel right.

"So does this mean we can talk to Y/N again?" John asks, making Brian and I split apart to turn and look at the boys who are now looking at me and devouring the food I brought them. Unbelievable. Brian nods and I look at them in confusion. "Thank God. Like Y/N said, that was torture."

"What, did you guys have a little pact or something?" I ask Brian.

"Something like that. I just - I put myself on the line yesterday, and it hurt when you rejected me. But I also knew you were just making excuses. I wanted to see if you would put yourself out there, like I did, and you did. In a much bigger way than I expected. I knew I needed to give you time to do that, so I did."

"Yeah, in the most brutal way possible." I smack Brian's arm, making him smile sheepishly.

"Hey, Freddie told me to be dramatic." I turn to look at Freddie with raised eyebrows.

"Really Freddie?"

"Go big or go home, darling." He raises his cup at me and I shake my head with a smile before turning back to Brian.

"And, uh, in reference to earlier, I'm not too good for you, Y/N. We're equally as good for each other, because I know you'll argue me when I say your too good for me."

"Wow, your such a dork." I say with affection.

"Your only just now figuring that out?"