Eyes on You

Miguel

It was so great to have Isabel back in Puerto Rico with me.  She'd wanted nothing to do with me for three years, after I'd decided to marry Guadalupe.  I'd been a terrible father.  I fully admit that.  After her mother died, I was lost.  My father was an alcoholic and I succumbed to the same fate.  I drank away my problems.  Dabbled in drugs.  I hadn't been there for Isabel and Luna and I regretted it every day of my life.

I was up early with Carlos the first morning there.  I pushed Brissa's door open and they were both still asleep.  I'm not sure the last time I watched my daughter sleeping.  She'd been through so much.  I'd sent her to live with Lin in New York for a better life, but in all her stubbornness she was getting in with the wrong crowd.  I knew about the Latin Kings and they weren't to be messed with.

Isabel's eyes fluttered open and she saw me standing there.  I smiled and sat down on her cot.

"Morning," I greeted her softly, and she mumbled back, rubbing at her eyes.  "I was thinking you and I could go out for brunch together.  Just the two of us."

She gave me a small smile, pulling her sheets up a little tighter.  "Sounds good."

"Great," I said.  "Leave in 45 minutes?"

She nodded so I left her to wake up and get ready.  Carlos was already running around, full of energy like he was every morning.  I was proud that I had gotten myself sober and held down a full-time, stable job.  Guadalupe had been my savior.  She was a no-nonsense woman who for some reason believed in me when I was a total mess.  She'd really helped turn me around.

My wife had arranged a playdate for Carlos at a friend's house, so she gathered up a diaper bag, kissed me goodbye, and they headed out.  I nursed my cup of coffee as I heard Isabel moving around, getting ready.  While she was here, I needed to have some serious conversations with her.  She couldn't continue down the path she was on, or she'd end up dead.  I couldn't let that happen to her.

Isabel emerged dressed and ready to go, so we walked a few blocks to a greasy spoon.  She ordered pancakes and I ordered bacon, eggs and toast.  We dug in and as we ate, I decided now was a good a time as ever to start talking.

"Lin and Pippa say you've been having a hard time," I started.  "Because of the baby?"

She sighed as she cut off some more pancake with her fork.  "Yeah.  I don't know if I should have given him up."

"It would have been hard," I acknowledged, watching her carefully.

"Yeah," she agreed.  "But I'm his mom.  I should be able to take care of him."

"Well, sounds like you got yourself into a bit of a situation," I went on.  "You were associating with the Latin Kings?  They don't play around."

"I know," she said quietly, eyes on her plate.  "That was stupid."

"But you're done with them now right?" I asked her, but she didn't reply immediately.  "Isabel, you cannot be in a gang.  It would ruin you."

"Why not?" she countered.  "I don't have anything else going for me."

"You do," I disagreed.  "You're a beautiful, smart young woman.  You could go to college.  Have a career."

"Why not just start popping out babies young like everyone else?" she poured on some more syrup.  "I'm already off to a great start.  And smart?  Please."

"You're very smart," I told her.  "You may have trouble with math but your intellect is sharp.  You were reading since you were four."

I hated that she didn't see herself as smart, or capable of going to college and having a career.  I had hoped that sending her to New York would help her see her options.  It was like she was regressing.