Eyes on You

Isabel

At 8:00 I showed up. I was terrified but I showed up. My hoodie was up over my head, wanting to stay hidden to as many as I could. I realized I was about to become a drug dealer. If I wanted things to turn out right for my family, I had to pay dues to the Latin Kings.

Pablo gave me a nod of the head as a greeting. I saw his tattoo on his neck and realized this was the tattoo Luna had mentioned. She'd noticed it during the attack. The reminder of my sister being attacked brought a wave of nausea.

"168th Street Station," he told me, handing me a backpack. "There will be a guy in a blue hoodie and a Jets hat.  Give this to him.  Don't mess it up."

I nodded, kind of frozen.  Was I really going to do this?  I had to it or I didn't know how they'd retaliate.  I'd coasted for too long under the radar and now it was my time to step up.

I let out a breath through my mouth and started walking.  I could've taken the subway but I needed to release some energy.  I walked a good fifteen blocks before I reached the station.  After trotting down the stairs I swiped by Metro Card and reached the platform.  I tried to be nonchalant about looking around for my guy.  No sign of him yet.

I messed around on my phone.  I'd gotten a text from Lin that Luna would be released tomorrow.  Then another text that Pippa had to be hospitalized due to to stress.  Shit.  That made me feel guilty.  The stress she was experiencing was mostly because of me.  Lin said the babies were fine, but I was still worried.

After ten minutes, I finally saw my guy come down the stairs.  His hoodie was up so I couldn't really see his face, but he glanced to his right a couple times.  Pablo must have told him what I was wearing because we finally made eye contact.

I was hoping to take some cues from him.  He looked to be in his late 20's maybe, so he'd probably done this before.  I casually walked over, thumbing around on my phone.  I stood against the grimy wall behind him and then dropped my bag on the floor.  After checking my surroundings, I stepped forward to show I'd dropped the bag.  He gave me a little nod, so then I started to walk away.

I glanced back a few moments later and saw him picking it up.  I felt a huge wave of relief.  It had gone smoothly.  I hadn't messed it up.

I climbed the stairs back up to the street, letting out a huge breath.  Now hopefully they would leave me and my family alone for a while.  I pulled out my phone and texted Pablo that the deed was done.  He texted back a thumbs up and told me to come back.  What else did he want?

Fifteen minutes later, I was back at the base where Pablo and Ian were talking, along with a few other people.  Ian glanced at me and looked away.  I knew he'd wanted me to abort the baby and he was still ticked that I'd kept it.  I didn't see why it mattered since I'd given him up.  He wouldn't have any responsibility for the kid.

Pablo laughed at something one of the other guys said, then walked over to me.  "How'd it go?"

"Fine," I told him.  "It went smoothly."

"Nice," he said.  "You up for another?"

My jaw dropped and I just gaped at him.  He wanted me to do another drop?  "Wh-what?" I stammered.

He gave me a confused look.  "You didn't think it'd be one and done, did you?" he asked.  "Girl, you've got a lot to learn."

He picked up another bag and gave me another set of instructions.  This time it was in a park.  Reluctantly, I took it and set out on my second mission of the day.  Lin was texting me that Luna was asking for me, but I told him I was busy and would be in later.

I had the description of the guy, who was apparently supposed to be sitting on a bench.  Once I'd reached the park, I scanned the area and quickly found him.  Sighing, I walked over and sat on the opposite end of the bench.  We didn't talk but we both knew what was up.  I casually set the bag between us and started texting on my phone.  A few minutes later, he stood up, taking the bag with him.

Moments later, a man in plain clothes approached him, flashing a badge.  Police.  My heart dropped.  I had to get out of here.  I stood and began to rush in the other direction, but I ran smack dab into a very tall man.  I stumbled backwards and he had since pulled out his own badge.

"Officer Muncy," he identified himself.  "You're under arrest for drug dealing."

The next hour or so was a blur as I was handcuffed, hawled away into the back of a police car, fingerprinted and photographed.  The Juvenile Detention Center.  Tons of Latin Kings kids had been here, but I'd only ever heard about it.  The kids here looked shady as hell.  I wasn't one of them, but yet here I was.

Lin was going to be so pissed at me.  This was going to stress Pippa out even more.  I found a corner and just sat with my head in my hands, feeling horrible about things.  I wanted to cry but I didn't dare in this company.

Around an hour later, one of the guards called my name.  I looked up and he summoned me over.  He said my uncle was here to pick me up.  I dreaded the look I was going to see on Lin's face.  What did he think when he found out I'd been booked for dealing drugs?  He thought I was doing so much better now, but I was just the lowlife failure I always had been.  I sauntered over and was led out of the room and down a hallway.

They took me into a room where I was uncuffed and I got back my things, then he led me out to the front.  Lin was standing there, hands in his pockets, looking thoroughly worried and stressed.

He turned towards the door as I approached without a word and I followed him out.  I trailed behind him as we made our way to the subway.  Was he going to kick me out?  First the whole disagreement about Pablo, stressing Pippa out so much she went into early labor, and now getting caught dealing drugs.  I wouldn't blame him if he never wanted to see me again.

We finally reached the apartment and I went straight to my room.  Lin gratefully let me be for a while, but after a half hour he came in, looking like he was in lecture mode.  He crossed his arms and stood in the middle of the room.

"Why, Isabel?" he asked me simply.

I sighed, looking down.  "I had to," I explained.  "For the Latin Kings.  That's why they were looking for me.  I hadn't really done anything for them yet.  You can't just be a member and not do some kind of business."

"They have you dealing drugs because you're a minor?" he asked.

I nodded.  "I just got sent to juvy.  Better than going to jail."

"For them, maybe," he said.  "But now you've got a court date and have to answer for it.  How are you gonna get out of the gang?  You have a plan?  Because it seems to me you've started to realize it was a bad decision."

I looked at him, incredulous.  "Of course I know it was a bad decision!" I told him.  "You think I wanted to deal drugs today?"

"You had a choice," he tried to tell me.

"No I didn't!" I stood up, my voice raised.  His eyes narrowed at me.  "I had to do it or they'd retaliate more.  God, how does no one get this?!  You think I can just stop?!"

"Are you doing drugs?" he asked me bluntly.

"No!" I said, annoyed.  "I've never touched them."

"Good," he said.  "At least that's something.  Now, how do you get out?"

I sighed epically.  "I don't know," I told him honestly.

"Well, you need to figure it out," he told me, looking at me sternly.  "This family can't take much more."

With that, he left me in my room to think about things.  How was I going to get on with the rest of my life free of the Latin Kings?  And, more importantly, keep my family safe?