in and out of love

six

"Tell me, Harry! Are you cheating on me?" Louis asks, he sensed this for quiet a long time- no one works late every single day, he looks freshly fucked almost daily whenever he gets home, his dress is always disheveled, hints of a different cologne, increased phone calls from his 'boss' even during the weekend, it all makes sense to Louis now. Harry is definitely cheating on him.

"Fucking tell me, you jerk!" Louis yells out, shaking and sobbing.

Harry thinks he's fucked, he never wanted Louis to know about his tactics, certainly, not in this manner.

"Louis, put Kate back into the crib in her room and we'll talk." Harry says, looking down at his boots. He starts taking them off as Louis goes to place his daughter back.

He comes back a while later and sits on the couch, glaring at Harry who was sitting beside him, a little distance between them.

"I-" Harry starts.

"Spit it out." Louis says gritting his teeth.

"I didn't want you to know about this, I just thought if we get divorced then things might go easier for me but I never expected this. I know there is no point in lying saying that I've not been seeing someone behind your back, it's useless now."

"Who is he?" Louis says, his voice breaking.

"Cody."

"Cody?"

"My colleague." Harry says, still looking down, ashamed.

"Look at me." Louis is crying, tears crawling down his cheeks, his bottom lip wobbling. He's devastated, he feels as if his soul and his heart have been ripped into shreds and thrown away carelessly.

"I'm sorry." Harry says, he's kind of glad that this is going to end but somewhere in his heart it's killing him, seeing Louis' tears.

"Harry, I- I wasn't enough, was I?" Louis laughs bitterly. "I was never enough. And I should be sorry for it, not you. I'm so sorry Harry Styles, I'm so fucking sorry that I failed to keep you happy."

"No, no, it wasn't- it wasn't just you dammit. It was us. We weren't happy since the past 6 months. Not just you, you're incredible Louis, you really are and you deserve someone who treats you better." Harry says, putting his hand on top of Louis'. Louis flinches away.

"You're right. I deserve a person who's not a downright bastard."

"Louis."

"So, 6 months behind my back huh?"

Harry nods. Shame filling throughout his body.

"Do I get to talk with that asshole?" Louis asks, smirking. But inside, he's screaming, he's hating himself, he just wants to drown himself, he wants to shout 'I fucking love you, Harry, I fucking love you, I'm sorry for whatever I did. Let's just start over'. But he knows he can't do it anymore, he needs to maintain this facade.

"He's not an asshole, I would like it if you mind that damn tongue of yours." Harry grits out, glaring right into Louis' dull eyes.

"Do I get to meet him?" Louis asks again ignoring Harry.

"Yeah, if he's okay with it."

"Do you love him, Harry?"

"Yes." Harry says, with no hesitation lingering in his voice. And that felt like a slap across his face. (louis's face)

"Good."

"Louis, listen, I want you to find someone else, we are going to be in the past. This is it. And I don't want you to go back to those times. We might not be husbands, I might not love you in that way anymore but I deeply care for you, I really do, you were my best friend before you were my boyfriend."

Louis snorts, "Shut the fuck up, seriously, shut the fuck up. You're lucky I didn't throw you out of this house by now. I'm not gonna ruin my skin for an unfaithful bastard like you."

"I know what I did is beyond horrible but get over it, get over me, I don't love you anymore, I'm trying not to be harsh towards you but it's like you're begging me to be." Harry is really angry.

"Harry, are you thick? You were the one who cheated and is cheating on me, you were the one who told me that you don't love me anymore and you were the one who got my horrendous past up. You expect me to be kind and serve you tea after you do this to me?" Louis yells, standing up.

"No, I'm definitely not expecting but try to be civil. You don't know Cody and you call him names? Like, that's childish Louis. Grow the fuck up." Harry shouts, facing Louis, his nostrils flaring.

"God, I'm done. And mind you, you're not going to touch Katherine ever again." Louis stabs Harry's chest with his pointer finger.

"She's my daughter too."

"Not anymore, she doesn't need an asshole father like you."

"Fuck you. Fuck you, Louis." Harry says, he starts wearing his boots, grabs his jacket and exits out of the house with a loud slam of the door.

Louis' knees go weak, he falls onto the floor trying so hard not to cry, he keeps telling himself that he's going to be okay without Harry in his life but he surely knows he's going to fall into the black hole once again and there's no way out this time.

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