that girl

54

[part i]
j o k e

i was too amazed by the prospect
of having people listen to me
my voice rang so loudly in their ears
and their eyes focused on me and me only

they were enamoured by
the intricacy, the simplicity, the complexity
and the audacity

of someone who was
venerable as i was

a ruptured, disconsolate sigh
escaped from someone's lips
and from them, i could hear
'she's simply lost her way'

it was arresting
for a moment, the room was
interspersed with long periods of
silence for everyone knew a
salient point had been made

yet i did not notice it
i was devoted to rectitude
now i was a brazen liar
they scrutinised me

now the unique architecture
that i offered was simply seen
as acrimonious

it was clear at that moment
that i was never part of this gathering
i have always been and will be
a stranger to anyone who crosses the street
dancing along the melodies
of yet another forgotten night

[part ii]
j o k e r

i used to know you
your quasi-mythical epigrams
now marked by animosity
left me drowning in questions
that will never be answered

you were the protagonist
i was the antagonist
i seethed with envy,
indignant that you were
experiencing freedom
that i had denied myself of

the strong ambivalence
i feel fades away when i
look at the mirror - at you
i had wounds; you had a gun
i had the truth, you had the lies
it was simply austere

your petulant tone made
me stand there, speechless
and flummoxed before
a tone of sudden
magnanimous concession
overtook me

everything seemed clear to me
the world was spinning but
i could care less
the world was painted in red but
i could care less

newspapers should not be
so particularly incredulous
and be so critical of what
they have made
but they should simply
clap and snap away

once they see the
crimson red
of the dead