Sweeping Winds and Rainbow Beginnings

Miss Gendered

Remember when I traded my voice

for the ability to walk in high heels

and I won the prince?

Were you fooled?

Did you think I never had a voice,

did not dream in forbidden colour,

would forever be a stranger to my untold self?

Remember how we laughed,

you blinking hard to miss

the sadness I kept failing to forget?

I was all gaps in those days

glued together with strips of fear,

long drawn-out seconds,

sleepless nights of meaninglessness

lonely side by side.

How we fought

and how we tried to make it "love".

It was I who was stern and serious,

I knew everything and dared nothing

while you put me on a pedestal

the better to ignore me.

You lit a candle and seemed

to really believe

I did not, but I wanted to more.

Pulling free was like breaking,

finding the happily never after

the unspoken, the unspeakable,

the many words obscuring

a true wish to understand.

In the end when you helped me fly

you did not know it would be

away from you,

and how that grief was the only path

to your happiness.

I won't hate you now.