The Vault

It's Bertha's Life

🐷

9:05 am

*wakes and wiggles, rolls out of bed*

"Ah! Good morning world! I wonder what's for breakfast today?"

*glances towards the door*

"What? It isn't opened! How am I to escape and enjoy my morning feast?"

*thinks hard, sniffs around, thinks harder*

"I got it!"

*trots towards the door oinking and squealing as loud as possible*

Translation: "FREDRICK, FREDRICK!!!! LET ME OUT! I'M HUNGRY, GOTTA EAT... FREDRICK!!!!!"

*hears the sound of heels, door opens quickly*

*oinking*

Translation: "it's about time you came! I was starting to think you no longer loved me. How devastating would it be for my chosen one to disappoint me?"

Prince: "Alright na that's enough of all that oinking. C'mon mama, and follow me."

*trots behind closely*

Prince: "Guess it's just you and me today. What you think about hitting the studio?"

*oinking excitedly*

Translation: "Yes oh yes my sweet Fredrick. How I would love to! Is this officially our second date? Gee, I bet it's going to be even more lovely, just like our early morning shower date! Ah the memories. You in the nude, soap suds falling all over your body. Your glorious falsetto graced me. But as soon as I oinked you hollered something serious. Guess you were excited to see me. The feeling was mutual, my love."

*watches as he fills my bowl with breakfast*

*oinking, excessively snorting, bumps into his hands*

Prince: "Hey, hey now slow yourself down! Food ain't going nowhere!"

*presses snout against his ankles, giving kisses*

Translation: "I love you Fredrick my dear, the apple of my eye, you have the key to my heart!" *oinks*

Prince: *sighs, pulls phone out, calls Nikolai*

*guzzles down food, never removing eyes from him*

Prince: "Baby."

*looks up, oinks*

Translation: "BABY"

Prince: "Where's those letters you wanted me to mail off?"

*oinks, scoffs in disgust*

Translation: "Her again? How long must I be tortured by her presence? Even through the phone she's a twit!"

Prince: "I'll get them. Ah, just sitting here with Zannalee."

*oinks loudly so twit can hear*

Translation: "THE TRUE LOVE OF HIS LIFE."

Prince: "Hurry back woman, I love you too."

*grows angry, flips water bowl with snout purposely*

Translation: "ENOUGH. I WILL EXILE HER, ONCE AND FOR ALL."

Prince: "Now see you're making a mess."

*oinks sarcastically*

Translation: "You did this phoning that freckled face whore!"

🐷

Paisley Park - Studio A

Prince: *holds Zannalee and enters*

*oinks, inhaling his scent, in bliss*

Prince: "Alright Piggy Smalls, ready to make some music?"

*oinks excitedly*

Translation: "LOVER, YOU BET!"

MechanicalEmotion
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