dix-sept | seventeen

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»On vous a dit, je vous dis de ne plus jamais me toucher.«

»You have been told, I'm telling you never to touch me no more.«

February 3, 1998

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February 3, 1998

"Say yes or say no, 'cause I really need somebody, tell me you're that somebody." I sang into the mic. The song I'm recording is called, 'Are you that Somebody', written by Static. I didn't really have a complete liking for the song, but it's worth a shot. Plus, Static literally got on his knees and begged me to sing it. "Got it?" I asked Timbaland. He gave the thumbs up, meaning I could leave the booth.

"Alright, babygirl, how does this sound?" Timb called me by my new nickname. Well, it's not really new since DeVanté has been calling me that since ninety-three. I don't mind it though, I think it's cute. Don't tell DeVanté's hot head ass that. He played the track for me and it started with his verse first. I nodded my head to the beat, it sounds good so far. Maybe listening to Static was a smart idea.

°

"I brought food!" Ginuwine walked in with four bags of what I assumed to be barbecue. If so, I hope he brought ribs. "Here's your plate, Static. Timbaland. Missy. Magoo. And last but not least, babygirl." He handed me my takeout plate, and immediately, I smelled the delicious sauces. I opened the tray, and steam from my ribs arose in the air. I genuinely love Ginuwine, and how much me pays attention to my favorite foods.

"Thanks, G." I thanked him, ready to dig in. The steam fogged up my glasses, so I couldn't see where my food was. I refuse to take it off.

"You're welcome, babygirl. And I know you see the fog on your locs, just take 'em off." Ginuwine said, taking a chicken wing in his mouth.

"No, I'm good."

"What's wrong babygirl, you hiding your beautiful eyes for w-" Ginuwine unexpectedly snatched my glasses off, revealing the real reason as to why I didn't want them off. My black eye. DeVanté gave me this last night because I didn't want to have sex with him. Thank the lord he didn't rape me, but I'm still hurt.

"Carmen, don't tell me De did that to you."

"He didn't, I swear! I accidentally fell on the side of a dresser and bruised my eye." I scrambled my words, trying to make it as believable as I can. By the look on Gin's face, he wasn't buying any of it. I looked at Static, who had an expressionless face. Missy looked like she wanted to say something, but couldn't get the right words out.

"I'll leave, I'm sorry." I ran away without my food and locs. I was too heavily embarrassed to even take them with me. Static tried to run behind me, but I was too fast. I made it to my car and burst out in tears. In my rear view mirror, I saw my completely swollen eye. How could DeVanté do this to me? Does he not feel any remorse for beating his wife and mother of his kids every night? Then after he hears my cries, he tries to make me think that he loves me. No matter how hard I try, he just won't stop. It's hard for me to put on a front when company comes over. Faking a marriage that isn't what it seems. Diane and the twins having to watch me get beaten. I've had enough. I need to file for a divorce and a restraining order before its too late.

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