Mina

Failure Is Not An Option

I had rushed home after school, changed into a blue shirt and khakis that were required of me to wear at my internship and grabbed my laptop before heading to the hospital to see Penny. I had two hours before my shift started and if I utilized my time well I could get a head start on the homework for my college class tomorrow. The professor always posted the work early for those of us who wanted to work ahead.

I rode the elevator up to the fifth floor, noticing for the first time that my ponytail was a mess, all the baby hairs falling out around my face. I should have ran a brush through it when I stopped at home but my mind was preoccupied on the pile of laundry I had let accumulate and the stack of mail I hadn't gone through.

Graduation couldn't come fast enough. I was tired, in all aspects of the word, of going at this pace. I needed a break but I knew if I took one, that just meant I was stuck here longer. And I wanted out more than anything.

I rapped my knuckles against the door to Penny's room, turning the knob. Voices filtered out, I immediately recognized my Aunt Carla's nasally voice. At least Penny would be pleasant today.

"Hi mom." I said as I entered the room. "Aunt Carla."

"Mina baby!" Penny said. "I was wondering when you'd get here. How was school?"

"It was fine, just gearing up for finals." I told her.

"Can you believe, Carla, that my baby here is graduating high school soon?" Penny said proudly.

I wondered if she realized she was too fat to watch me graduate. Even if she made it to the arena where they were hosting my graduation, there was no way she'd be able to sit in the bleachers. What would happen is Penny would make Carla go and video tape it. That is what had happened for the last several years. In her defense she had always watched the videos with the utmost enthusiasm, cheering alongside the crowd.

Penny wasn't a great mom, she wasn't even a good mom, but I did believe that some part of her did actually love me like a mother was supposed to.

"I sent in my order for my cap and gown the other day." I told her, mostly because I knew it'd make her happy.

She clapped her chubby hands together, the excessive fat and skin on her arms jiggling back and forth.

"Make sure you send me all the information Mina." Carla said. "I'll mark it down in my calendar."

Aunt Carla was also a big woman, a fraction of the size Penny was but they clearly shared the same DNA or mental disease, which ever one you wanted to blame for their outcome.

I told her I would, settling back into the stiff chair provided by the hospital and pulled my laptop out. As long as Carla was there, Penny was entertained enough that I could work in relative peace. All that was required of me was the occasional "oh wow" or "I can't believe it" or "that's nice" and I could mumbled those responses appropriately without ever paying attention.

———————

"Take a deep breath, just relax." I told Katie, the patient that Sarah and I were working with.

I lifted her leg, carefully keeping her leg straight as I pushed it forward, stretching her hamstring. She let out a breath, staring at the ceiling.

"So I've been researching." Katie said. "There's a place about an hour away that has a whole community for wheelchair sports."

"Really? That's not bad." I said.

"I know! Derrick and I are going to drive out there and check it out." She was all smiles. "I'm dying to race again."

Katie had been an avid marathon runner, competing in some of the major ones. Before the car accident that left her with a complete thoracic spinal cord injury she was training for the Boston Marathon. Now she had no use or feeling from the waist down and she never would again.

"I've already been looking into chairs, they're expensive but it's a necessity if I'm ever going to be able to race again."

Katie, I'd learned, was one of those people that when met with challenges powered through full speed. If she had ever been down about her diagnosis she had never showed it. And her husband Derrick was unbelievably supportive from what I saw.

"You'll have to let me know when you're first race is." I told her. "I'd love to see it."

"Oh my gosh yes. If it wasn't for you, I never would have thought to start looking at wheelchair sports so soon." She said.

She had been telling me how much she missed running, that Derrick was looking at buying some sort of buggy he could push. Like a giant jogging stroller so the two of them could go on runs again. I'd told her she should forget that idea, that it'd probably never quench her thirst for the thrill of racing and look into adaptive sports.

"It's time to buckle down." She said as I switched legs. "We need to get my upper body ridiculously strong. I like to win."

I laughed, the determination clear in Katie's eyes. "Duly noted."

She was already pretty strong, she wasn't a patient that only did her work when she was here. I'd noticed Sarah would show her a new exercise and by the time she came back in she'd be tremendously stronger and more coordinated at it. And that only happened if you were practicing outside of therapy.

"I can't wait Mina." She glanced at me from where she was laying on the mats. "It's all I think about."

"You'll get there." Because she would. I wasn't sure if Katie even new the word failure. "Maybe I'll be watching you at the Paralympics one day."

She closed her eyes, a smile spread across her face. "Now that would be something."

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Ugh guys, this website I'm trying to build is killing me. I think I've rebuilt it a solid three times. It keeps getting better and better but for real. I think it's time to move on. I was up until midnight messing with it. I can't stay up that late.