Mina

Stop Kissing

I hadn't seen Owen since the day all this started, two days prior. It was easier that day to pretend that I could fall into a relationship with Owen. That it'd all just make sense. My pounding heartbeat and the sweat trying to break out along my skin told me otherwise now.

It didn't make any sense how part of me desperately wanted to run and the other wanted to cling to Owen like he was my life raft. The two sides constantly at war with each other every time I thought about him.

Drumming my fingers on my steering wheel I looked up at his house, a house I'd been in multiple times. A house I hadn't wanted to flee from until this moment, right now.

But Owen was in there. And he was waiting for me.

And I did want to see him.

I just wasn't sure I could do this.

I blew out a frustrated breath, reaching for my phone. I was wasting time, trying to calm my thundering heart. But also I was trying to find faith in the words that my dad had been saying in hopes that he might rewrite what Penny had etched into my soul.

I didn't get a chance though to reread our conversation, something I did frequently because I still had a hard time believing he was there. My phone went off in my hand, Owen's last name sprawled across the screen. For a slight second I wondered if I should change his contact information so that he had a first name or if I should leave him as Savas. A little reminder to myself of who he could turn out to be, the type of guy I had thought he was.

"Hello?" I said into the phone.

"Nan wants to know when you'll be here, she's got food for you and didn't want it to go cold." He told me.

I'm sitting in your driveway, scared.

"Pulling in as we speak." I said instead, cringing at the uncertainty in my voice.

"See you in a minute then." He was smiling, I could hear it.

The line went dead and I blew out a frustrated breath. What was I doing? I couldn't be that girl. I didn't know how to be that girl. Was I supposed to kiss him when I walked in the door? Was I supposed to call him in the mornings? Would his morning texts end if I did? What about at night? Did I have to invite him to my house?

Would he expect me to open up to him? Tell him all the things that held me back?

The thought had panic swelling inside me. So much so I thought about calling him back and telling him I felt sick but then the front door opened and there he was, standing. He had that smile on his face, sending my heart racing and a smile spreading across my face. That pull that I felt within increasing until I was slamming the car door shut behind me.

But as I made my way up the ramp to the front door, Penny's voice whispered in my ear, dropping the smile from my face.

"Hey." Owen said, his voice easy and smooth.

I didn't acknowledge it, stepping through his front door.

"Nan's gonna hound you until you try what she made. Just warning you." He told me.

I spun around, feeling slightly claustrophobic. Had his house shrunk?

"I just remembered that I have a ton of homework to do." I blurted. It wasn't a complete lie, I did have homework. "I should probably leave."

"Mina."

"And I have a test and I'm not ready for it."

"Mina."

"I mean it's still like three weeks away but I should probably start."

"Mina."

I looked up at the sound of my name, startled at how close Owen had gotten while I told him why I needed to leave. He had a smirk tugging the corner of his lips, his brown eyes sparkling with amusement.

"Huh?" I mumbled.

My arm ignited as his fingers trailed the space down to my hand. Without even a confirmation from my mind, my hand let him interlace our fingers.

"It's okay to be scared."  I watched him lean his weight to one of his canes, shifting himself a little closer to me.

"I'm not scared." I protested weakly.

I wasn't actually. I was terrified. They were two completely different emotions.

"Okay." He agreed with a smile before he grew a little more serious. "Stay, please."

I looked everywhere but at him, my eyes catching his mother's frozen gaze from the family photos that decorated the wall. I wondered what kind of woman she was. What she would have thought of me. If she thought I deserved Owen even if I was damaged.

I wondered if the desire to hightail it out of town would eventually leave. If I could get use to this and Owen. If he stayed.

I wanted him to stay.

I didn't get a chance to answer him, both of us being interrupted by his grandma as she blew into the living room where we stood.

"Love! There you are! Come." She waved her hand at us, an apron smeared with stains still wrapped around her waist.

I looked back at Owen confused, he hadn't moved. Normally his grandma would yell "Love" and Owen would already be trying to move in that direction or at the very least answer her. He wasn't doing either of those things though.

"She's not talking to me." He laughed.

"STOP KISSING AND GET IN HERE!" Nan's voice shouted from the kitchen.

"I warned you, she wants you to try her food." Owen explained again.

Warmth rushed through my body, a smile spreading across my face. I had ate Nan's leftovers before and I couldn't believe when Owen said she had cooked a vegetarian meal so that I'd have something to eat when I came over. But there was something about this. About her calling me Love like I was apart of the family. About her so eager to share what she had made with me.

Was that how my life could have been without Penny in it? Would there have been names of affection and home cooked meals and an adult who took care of me instead of the other way around? Was this how it was supposed to be?

"Come on." Owen's voice broke my thoughts as he let go of my hand. "She'll just keep yelling until you do what she wants."

He grabbed his canes from where they stood beside him and started for the kitchen, but not before he gave me that heart stopping smile. So even though Penny's voice was screaming in my mind, I followed him.

                                ————————

Guys. Be proud. I wrote two chapters yesterday's. However one is farther out. So we have an update for tomorrow and then a blank space and then a chapter. But I will press on! And maybe I'll get the space between wrote and daily updates will continue on for another week.