Light

18. Comfort

With the revelation of her pregnancy, Mary Poppins was relieved to finally have it off her shoulders. However, seemingly fine at first, she continued to lay awake at night, thinking of every worst scenario possible. Shaking her head, she tried to think of something else. Something happier. This was strange, Mary Poppins never struggled. Never. She was perfect and will forever be. Or so she thought anyways. Unable to get to her senses, she walked shifted in her bed, listening to the wind howling outside.

Jack was still in the hospital, his conditions getting neither better nor worse. Now, she was also pregnant. Happy as she was, worry continued to crawl within her, asking herself multiple questions. Will I be able to take care of the baby properly? What if Jack doesn't want the baby? What if the baby isn't healthy? Groaning to herself, she shut her eyes tight.

Waking up, nausea started within her once again. With her frequent toilet trips, the entire Banks household knew to not disturb her. Returning back to her bed, she sat there in silence without realising that a young girl was staring at her.

Not a single peep came out of Annabel who watched Mary Poppins. She was worried about her and knew she wasn't okay. So much had happened, from Jack being hospitalised and to discovering she was pregnant. Despite the dark circles around her eyes, Annabel couldn't help but smile at how Mary Poppins was able to do her hair properly and dress well.

"Good morning" she whispered

"Annabel, good morning"

"How are you today?"

"Not any better but I've learned to tolerate it"

"It's nearly the new year... will you be able to travel?"

"Of course. I may be sick but that doesn't mean I can't move."

"Though, it would be better if you didn't" Annabel grinned "Will you be staying up today for the countdown to New Years?"

"Yes. When will be there another time when the year changes from 1939 to 1940?" Mary Poppins smiled

"Yay!" Annabel cheered "Oh! I forgot my purpose. Breakfast is ready downstairs."

"Thank you, I'll come down in a little bit."

"Take your time!"

With that, Annabel was back downstairs leaving Mary Poppins sitting there alone. For the rest of the day, Mary Poppins spent most of her time in solitude, away from the family. Away with her thoughts and feelings, Jane and Michael watched her in worry. The usual cheerful woman that they knew, had disappeared and changed into somebody they couldn't recognise. Her personality didn't change, she was still strict, proper yet fun. The only difference now was that she lost her enthusiasm, her energy, her light.

That night, as they waited for the clock to strike midnight, Mary Poppins wandered upstairs to wait by herself. Standing on the balcony, looking over the street, she imagined Jack cycling and turning each lamp post on. She wanted to hug him again, have their fun conversations again and just to see him healthily again.

A tiny creak on the floorboards disturbed her thoughts. Turning around, she smiled to see Annabel who was creeping around quietly.

"Hello..." she giggled cutely

"Annabel again" Mary Poppins held out her hand so that Annabel could come towards her

"What are you doing?"

"Waiting."

"Ah..."

Silently looking up at the stars, Annabel pointed up.

"That one's looks like a Lily. You know, the flower" Annabel traced the stars to show her

"Indeed it does..." Mary Poppins smiled, Annabel was always so creative and full of life

"Lilies are my favourite flower you know... I don't really know why but when I was little, mother always gave me a lily whenever she found one... it always reminds me of her"

"That's beautiful, your mother left you something to remind her by"

"Mhm." Annabel nodded "did you make a New Years resolution?"

"A New Years resolution?"

"Yeah... I told myself that in the upcoming year, I'll make sure to study hard so when I grow up, I can take care of my family!"

"You study hard already" Mary Poppins grinned

"I know but it's not enough. I want to be like you. Smart, kind, beautiful and always know what to do!"

"At this rate, I don't know how good it is to try and be me" she sighed

"But see, these moments of difficulty just proves Mary Poppins is a human and that she'll struggle too. But if you keep positive and continue fighting, you'll eventually see your goal." Annabel hugged her reassuringly "now make a New Years resolution!"

Thinking for a while, Annabel watched her patiently as she waited for an answer.

"This year, I want to be kinder with myself. Remind myself that obstacles are just stepping stones to becoming stronger. Once I can do that, I'll know I can deal with this" Mary Poppins laughed as she rubbed her stomach

"You'll be an awesome mother and Jack will be an awesome father!" Annabel giggled "I know Jack will be very excited! The baby will be really healthy and you two will take care of them lovingly! I can tell, so don't worry because you've got this!"

Just then, from the distance, a beautiful colourful explosion lit up the sky. Finally, after what seemed like a long time, a glistening glow appeared in Mary Poppins eyes once again. She realised it was going to be okay and all she needed was just a bit of comfort and reassurance, even if it was in the form of a little girl.