Before the Dawn (jikook/ vminkook)

Prologue: the end

My dear friend.

I need to write it all down, before I forget. I need to tell you everything. The entire truth. Because I need you to know that I never meant for anyone to get hurt. Especially not him. And not you either.

You're the only one who can also see the blood on my hands. You're the only one who thinks it's my fault. And honestly I think it's my fault, too.

But there's more you don't know. And I think once I tell you, you'll hate me. Really and truly, right down to your bones. You'll want to see your own hands covered in blood, my blood. Not the metaphorical kind.

I've done a lot of thinking, and I think that would be the most just option.

Turning myself in and sitting in jail... I think I would just end things myself, and it wouldn't give either of us any satisfaction. You would think I got out of my punishment too easily, too quickly. Not enough damage done. And trust me, I want the punishment.

So I'm writing this to you, in the sincere hopes that perhaps once you know the truth, you'll come to the address I've provided, and you'll end me in whatever way you see fit. Do you understand? I want to see you. You already hate me as it is, and I'm sure this is the only way I'll get to see you, one last time.

If you're brave enough, read on. I explain everything in the following pages. But just one more thing, before I shatter any last chance of earning your forgiveness. I need you to know how much I love you. And him, too. With even the very last beat of my heart, I will love you.

-Taehyung