Before the Dawn (jikook/ vminkook)

18. For his eyes only

Taehyung found himself hiding away in the library during art class. And during lunch, too.

He just couldn't bring himself to face Jungkook or Jimin or anyone else. What would he say to them? He couldn't just be his old self, he was still too busy nursing his wounds.

Mina managed to corner Tae in the hall at one point between classes, asking where he'd been all day.

"Everyone was wondering where you were at lunch, and Jungkook said you weren't in art class either," She shifted her school books to rest on her hip, brows furrowing together.

Taehyung was surprised Jungkook had even mentioned it. What did he care?

"Are you sick? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he tried to answer convincingly, but he knew she wasn't buying it. "I just have a lot going on a home, with my parents and stuff,"

"Are they both home now?"

Taehyung realized how lame of an excuse it was. "...Not yet,"

Mina paused, seeming completely unsure what to say. Her lips parted, poised to say more, but then she pressed them together in a firm line. As bullshit of an excuse as it was, she took the hint that he clearly didn't want to talk about it. Especially not here, at school.

"We should hang out after school, and if you wanna talk about what's up, cool. If not, that's also cool," she shrugged. "Just... don't cut me off, please," her voice was soft as she laid a hand on his arm, giving a little squeeze.

Taehyung hesitated, but heard himself agree slowly. "Yeah, okay,"

Talking to Mina in that moment made him realize he didn't know how. Maybe it was just better to be alone for the time being. At least until he licked his wounds clean. He emptily promised to text her later, before they both headed to their next class.

After school Taehyung gathered up his photographs of Jimin and Jungkook.

He grabbed his lighter and seriously considered setting them all on fire. But in the end, he just couldn't bear to.

He paced around his house trying to fill the time, too anxious to sit down and do homework.

He cleaned, organized everything in his closet by color, and put his mom's bookshelf into alphabetical order. But nothing kept his hands busy enough. The sun was sinking and still, Taehyung couldn't shake the restless feeling.

That was the night he started dancing.

He'd tried it out before, sure, but this time he felt like he needed it. It was the perfect distraction, and required all of the concentration he could spare.

Every day he locked himself in the basement, loosing himself in the pulse of the speakers, teaching himself any choreography he could find. It helped. Even though it reminded him of Jimin and Jungkook, it still helped. He liked to imagine that by doing what they do, he'd somehow gain a sliver of their confidence. He'd grow secure enough in himself that he'd feel like he didn't need them anymore.

That was wishful thinking, though. He couldn't pry their faces out of his brain. Especially not when he still had to see them every day at school.

Taehyung still avoided the cafeteria every day, but he couldn't skip class. He and Jungkook would talk here and there, but he made it awkward enough that Jungkook almost didn't know how to talk to him anymore.

So maybe it was better that way. Keeping distance. The only problem was that Taehyung wasn't strong enough to keep avoiding them. He'd hardly seen Jimin for more than a minute or two in weeks. And his interactions with Jungkook were frigid at best.