A Foolish Grave

Prologue

Devyn's POV

Arriving at my fathers apartment block I get off my bike and lock it. Against the sky all I could see was the crumbling walls of the block that were nothing more than a ghostly silhouette of some previous existence. The wind whistled through the trees bringing with it the haunting memories of running late into the apartment waiting for my father to scream at me. Vividly I could picture my childhood. The walls didn't seem so grey when I was little, nor did they seem so small. In my mind I pictured it much larger. I felt like no time had passed since I ran from this place, yet as I gazed upon the shattered windows it was evident just how wrong I was. Heading up the stairs it smells of old and its damp. His apartment is on the 4th floor, and to no suprise the inside is a fucking mess and dirty. Battered armchair, shabby, gate legged table with chipped Formica, lazy boy recliner, stained canvas chairs, dented and scratched pine table, sparse, decrepit, stinking, reeking, cigarette burns.

Walking around I peered into my fathers former bedroom, it was cramped, dim and cave-like, a cheap spindly pine framed bed was cut shorter to fit into the room with a narrow strip of carpet graying with decades of filth placed to its left. To the right of the bed was a meanly proportioned window layered in aging mould and dust, covered by twenty-something year old net curtains swaying mysteriously in the shadows. Draws were overflowing with moth-eaten clothes and bedding thriving with maggots and grime. Dirt encrusted beige wallpaper was peeling off the wall near the dented floorboards. I grimaced and moved away, turning around. Facing my bedroom, it was small and cluttered, tucked away towards the back of the house. It used to be a bathroom, before they had renovated, replacing the tiles with dark blue carpet and floral wallpaper. I hated flowers, but appreciated my own space. I rip the bedding off and dump it in the barely working washing machine, I had the whole day, it was only 6am. I couldn't stay in here like this, I didn't trust any of it. Grabbing some gloves and cleaning spray I went around the place and scrubbed it, finishing by putting the clean bedding back on a couple hours later. I stuffed my bags in the wardrobe and took a small amount of money with me. Leaving the apartment I locked the door and put my helmet back on driving to the nearest shop. 

The little bell above the door rang as I walked in, the cashier's eyes followed me as I walked round the shop. I grabbed a microwave meal, a bottle of whiskey and some coke. Placing it down on the counter the man finally stopped staring at me, 

"Can I also get two boxes of Mayfair"

He nods and chucks them on the counter, 

"$55 doll."

I hand him the notes and walk out the door, stuffing the items in my bag, heading back to my former dads place. I ripped the box open and chucked the meal into the microwave. Grabbing a glass from the cupboard I poured my self a drink and lit a cigarette. I sucked the smoke deep into my lungs remembering all the warnings but not caring. Holding it there trapped, thinking how my lungs must hate me now having so little regard for them they must be screaming at me  at the top of their lungs--I refused to smile-- those poor dying little cells that only wanted me well; how could I do this to them? I craved oxygen now but not until my entire body got the message that I was crazy and not to be trifled with. Standing against the kitchen side I wait for my food to be cooked. Sitting down on the sofa with my drink and food my mind flashes back to last night, 

"I can't let you ruin your life. I love you too much"

Squeezing my eyes shut I force the memory away, 

Pulling my face up gently he kisses me, I press myself closer, feeling his body against mine. 

I hiss and grip my head, fisting my hair, 

His arms wrap around my waist, kissing me back. He pulls away and tucks a piece of hair behind my ear

"No!"I shout, 

"I'm sorry.."

"Go away!!"

"you make me feel things I never thought I could feel..you see all my light and walk with my angels as well as my dark and dance with my demons.."

I scream and stand up, throwing the glass at the wall, it shatters, the liquid running down the wallpaper. 

"I will find you." I growl, staring at the wall.