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I walked into the girl's locker room and the softball team was in there, already finished with their practice.
They all casually stood around in their underwear, unfazed by eachother's exposed bodies. I however was extremely fazed by it. I tried my hardest not to stare at anyone or anything and just get my shower but everyone wanted to try and talk to me. Being a closeted bisexual is so hard. If I were out and knew I had people who supported me as a bisexual, I wouldn't feel so ashamed of being bisexual. Heteronormality is truly a poison.
I managed to make it to the shower and low and behold, more naked girls that are way to comfortable being naked in front of everyone. The shower was an open shower with no privacy amongst each shower head so it was a nightmare for insecure people much like myself. Not only am I ashamed of my sexuality, but I'm also ashamed of my body.
"Hey you're the baseball captain's little sister right?" Some girl stood right next to me while I showered. I forced myself not to look at her. I meekly nodded, to afraid to speak. "Is he single?" I thought about it. "Technically." The girl laughed. "What's that supposed to mean?" "He sleeps around. That's what it means." "I don't think you're really his sister. Siblings don't talk about each other like that." "I'll talk about my brother however I like. Thank you. Have a nice day." "Why the hell are you even in here? You don't play sports." I sighed deeply, and just ignored her. "Oh my God. You're a pervert aren't you?" The accusation made me angry because it didn't make since. I had not looked at a single person the whole time I was in the locker room.
I said nothing and continued my shower as quickly as possible. The girl laughed loudly. "I'm just fucking with you. Perverts are only ugly guys." This bitch was beyond ignorant and was getting on my last nerve. "But seriously, do you think your brother would talk to me?" "I don't know. I don't see the girls he hooks up with." I sighed, just wanting to be left alone. The butt naked girl who was intruding on my personal space would not stop asking me about Jay. "Oh my God! Maybe you're the fucking pervert! Get away from me!" I yelled, at my wit's end. This girl cocked her head, smacked her lips and walked away. I quickly finished my shower, dried my hair and got dressed. As I was leaving, the softball coach called me into her office.
The girl in my personal space tattle telled on me and I had to give my side of the story. I did just that and the girl's coach let me go.
Good Lord, I hate women...but I really love them... As much as I like guys.
I went to my homeroom class and sat in my desk, patiently awaiting the game this afternoon.
Before the game, Jay gave an inspirational speech and everyone huddled together and cheered and chanted, just like we do before every game. I walked to the dugout while the guys trotted to the field.
The game started and I was looking over the roster. I put the roster together but I have to get it approved by Coach and he almost never agrees with my lineups so I was surprised to see Haon was starting today. He works to hard at fielding to not be a starting fielder. The only thing that seemed off was that Jay was batting last...like dead last. I asked Coach about it and he looked at me like I insulted his mother. "Forcing you to be active is enough punishment for you. Your brother on the other hand... nothing bothers him except taking his popularity away." "So this is punishment?" "It's a lesson." "And if we lose because he was last?" "The other team will get cocky towards the end of the roster and then Jay will come up and crush their spirits. I wouldn't make a decision if I thought it would hurt the team." I watched the game closely, cheering for everyone on the field. Then I started thinking about what Coach said.
"Why'd you let me become the manager?" I asked boldly. "Well...You're a girl." Coach said bluntly. "I know I'm a girl. That doesn't answer my question." I rolled my eyes. "The manager has to be with the team always. The manager... manages... takes care of the team... spends time with the team. I figured it'd do the boys some good to talk to a girl instead of talking about girls." "So me being on this team benefits them outside of the field?" "I suppose. None of them have a girlfriend yet so I don't think you've made much of a difference." Coach laughed.
Haon went up to bat and I cheered for him like I did for everyone else. I put no extra effort into it.
"Awe, the freshmen are so cute together." Minsik cooed. I jerked around in disbelief. "I knooow. It's so sweet that she cheers extra hard for Haon all the time." Jarvis laughed. My eyes got big. "I'm shocked she didn't try to get with any of the upperclassmen." Harry laughed. My jaw fell open. "Heeji, when were you gonna tell me about you and Haonnie?" Jay asked me. "Me and Haon?" I asked in total confusion. "Yeah, you and Haon." Jay affirmed what I thought I heard. "No. There is no me and Haon." "Are you sure?" Hwimin tried hiding his missing eyebrows with his cap. "Yeah I'm sure." "But you always cheer louder for him." Kyujung pointed out to everyone. "Yeah, you gotta like him. The two of you are always together." Chase joined the banter as Ted went up to bat next. I didn't even see how Haon did. "If she doesn't like Haon... then he must like her." Woojae thought he was onto something. Everyone agreed on this theory to my dissmay.

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