Sweetest Little Show - Paul McCartney Fanfiction

Chapter 27 - With A Little Help From My Friends

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Paul sat there with a hopeful look in his eyes as he watched me, waiting for the silence to leave. This hadn't exactly been something I planned, I just thought I could do it without too much struggle. That wasn't true at all, though. Right now, I was trying so hard to find the right words, only because blurting out that I love him would sound sort of weird

"I still love you, Paul."

But of course, as I always do, I said it. And all it did was bring another silence out, except this time, now we were both left unsure what to say. This had to be one of the most awkward times at the dinner table we've had. Even more awkward than the time I pulled away from what would have been our first kiss.

"I still love you too, y'know," Paul said, a small smile on his face.

His hands reached out for mine, and I let him take my hands. A soft chuckle let out from his mouth as we held hands, and he brought them to his lips to kiss them. We could easily reach each other, because he was on the end of the table and I was just around the corner.

"I wanna forgive you, because I just hate living while holding a grudge against you. It doesn't feel right, and I love you. You forgive those you love, right?" I said. "And I think you've learned your lesson. Plus, not dating you is boring. I miss the good that you did for me."

"Oh thank god you feel that way," Paul said, letting out a sigh of relief. "I couldn't stop thinking and worrying about how I was gonna feel when our contract was gonna end. Knowing you probably wouldn't want to renew it anymore, it was just hard imagining not being around you anymore."

My chest felt warm and I couldn't help but smile. Now I knew he thought about me, even when we weren't together. It felt even stranger and yet so amazing knowing he wanted me in his future. Maybe giving him a second chance was the right choice.

"Can I kiss you?" I asked randomly.

He reached for my chin and held it, leaning over to kiss me. However, when our lips met, my feelings of warmth and happiness turned to confusion and strangeness. Why the hell was I giving him a second chance, especially when everyone else who's hurt me has been pushed away? What made him so special like he was the only one who deserved my second chance?

Something about me was that I wasn't a very forgiving person. If I've been done wrong by, then it'll take more than a lot to get back into good terms with me. Even then, my trust could easily be less than it was before, or may never repair at all. My trust is hard to gain and easy to lose. It was something that both protected me and yet blinded me.

When he pulled away, I noticed his eyes narrow and his eyebrows furrow upwards. His mouth curved downwards slightly as he took a closer look at me and started reading my emotions. He took a large gulp as I just stared at him, waiting for him to say something.

"You don't seem happy, love. Do you really want this, why are you doing this?" Paul asked.

I shrugged, leaning my elbow on the table. "I dunno, of course I'm happy. You're the one I love, and you're who I wanna be with. It's just a bit confusing for me to process, that's all."

He scooted his chair closer and started stroking my hair. "Tell me what's on your mind."

Because he was closer, I was able to rest my head on his chest and just relax. He held my hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb as I thought about what to say. Paul's heart beat went fast, and his chest rose and fell quicker than usual. I wasn't intending to panic or worry him, but it seemed that was exactly what I was doing.