Some Body

Sounds like a plan, Nugman

Nora

Oh, how I wished I'd wake up and be myself again. That all of this was just a bad dream or something that only happened for the duration of one day.

I was lying in bed, awake but afraid to open my eyes. Because if I'd open my eyes, I'd see the truth. And I could feel that I was still trapped in Sam's body. I didn't feel like myself and that was indication enough to just keep my eyes shut.

As long as they were shut, I could pretend to be myself. That I had dark circles underneath my brown eyes and my hair would be a mess. That it bugged me how I felt like my hands were too small and I could be frustrated because I didn't like the way my knees looked.

I kinda loved to hate my own body. Because it was my body.

I was dying to tell someone about this, just to vent. And I wanted to spend time with my own friends, not Sam's friends. I wanted my own boring life back. Because it was my life.

Now, nothing seemed like it belonged to me anymore. Was I going to lose my identity? Would we slowly become each other? I, for one, didn't feel like myself. Sure, my thoughts were still mine but a huge part of who you are is formed by the way you look or how you like to dress and what you do and who you hang out with.

All of that wasn't happening at the moment.

And even though it had only been a day. It was the most terrifying day of my life. I didn't know why I hadn't told Sam. I'm usually pretty open about everything. My friends constantly tell me I'm an open book. But for some reason, I felt ashamed. I felt ashamed because Sam made it seem like he'd nailed being me. Even Milly hadn't noticed and she knows me the best. I was disappointed when Sam had told me she'd fallen for it.

Sam had nailed it and I had failed. I wasn't the easy-going Sam his friends knew. They didn't tell but I felt like they knew something was up. As if murdering his performance on the field wasn't enough to raise suspicion.

With a sigh, I opened my eyes and just as I expected, I was still Sam and Sam was probably still me.

"Damn it," I muttered while getting up. I just didn't get it. We'd brainstormed all evening about the cause of this and nothing came up. Absolutely nothing. The voice inside my head that told me this was permanent was getting louder and it became more difficult pushing it away.

To my surprise, Sam had already arrived. I heard his car and quietly went downstairs to let him in. I felt my cheeks heat up when I noticed he'd washed my hair but I decided to ignore that.

In silence we went upstairs and looked at each other. We were thinking the same thing and it pained me to see my own face reflecting what I felt.

"I'm sorry, a part of me really hoped that today would be back to normal," Sam said, breaking the silence.

"Why are you sorry? It's not like this is all your fault," I answered him.

"I guess I feel sorry for us? That our hope got crushed this morning," Sam explained.

"Yeah, well... let's get ready for another day of school then. Last day before the weekend," I tried to sound cheerful but failed miserably.

"I was thinking, maybe we could visit that fortune teller tomorrow? Threaten her a little bit to see if she has anything to do with our situation. If she's not the culprit, at least we can put that out of our minds and focus on other possibilities," Sam explained while I led him towards the bathroom so I could get him ready.

"I like that plan. We'll google where the circus is at and go check it out," I told Sam. For some reason, it gave me hope again. Not because I actually suspected her but because we were doing something. And every step brought us closer to a solution. Right? It had to.