one-hundred-thirty-eight.

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KURT AND LINDY were almost home, driving in a storm of heavy rain that had fallen upon Seattle during their meeting with Danny. Everything was cold and wet, and Lindy was shocked that the precipitation did not freeze into an icy snowfall considering the time of year. She'd dialed up the flow of heat in her and Kurt's car, but even that did not stop him from shaking.

She'd assumed it had to do with the cold. It was either that, or simply the task of driving through busy downtown Seattle. Kurt had always been a meek driver and was not quite primed to be guiding them both through the clustered city streets.

Deep in the pit of her mind, the same part that tended to reprimand her when she tried to ignore the truth of things, Lindy knew why Kurt's hands had not stopped shaking since they had left Danny's office.

They were tight around the steering wheel, trembling in place all the way down to his wrists. His gaze was focused on the road, but his mind was anywhere but on the traffic ahead. Lindy had never seen his eyes take on such a clear blue. They were almost as transparent as water.

"Pull over," Lindy said quietly.

"What?"

Kurt barely looked at her, trying his very hardest to pretend that he was actually paying attention to the street signs and cars flying past them. The rain was picking up, beating down heavier on the windshield and requiring the car wipers to be geared to full speed.

"I said pull over," Lindy repeated, this time more loudly than before.

Kurt glanced at her with a frightened look on his face, as if he were expecting to be yelled at like he was a child. Nonetheless, he obeyed Lindy without question and pulled into the nearest gas station. He picked an empty one, void of any people needing to fill up their tanks. The weather did not necessarily encourage commuters to step out of their toasty warm vehicles.

Kurt put the car into park, continuing to stare dejectedly at the wheel. He was waiting for her to yell at him, though Lindy was by no means a yeller. and he knew this. But in Kurt's mind, he saw no reason as to why Lindy shouldn't be livid with him.

He had potentially just made the biggest mistake of his life.

The rain pattered relentlessly around them. It was the only sound, as Kurt had not even bothered to turn on the car radio when they'd originally begun their drive. That behavior alone was not like him. He always had a song playing in the car.

Lindy gathered her thoughts mutely while she sat facing Kurt, tucking one leg beneath her other. She was torn over whether there was a determined, right thing to say in their situation.

She decided that she ought to start small.

"What's wrong?" she asked, making her voice gentle while laying on the compassion. She did feel compassion for him. His thoughts were without a doubt being raked over hot coals, challenging him on whether or not he had made the right choice.

"I'll be fine," Kurt replied, his words rasped by the sound of a scratch in the back of his throat.

"But you're not fine now," Lindy whispered. She reached her hand out to touch him, but it fell back to her side. She couldn't enter his bubble, his breadth of personal space as he grieved his own anxieties. She always had before, but this time felt different.

"I just did something that I'll probably regret," Kurt reminded her. "I need time to freak the fuck out over it."

"I know that. But I'm here for you," Lindy said, hating how bland she sounded. She had nothing to offer but her company at that point. How was she supposed to know what it was like to rekindle a band? It wasn't like she could pretend to assume Kurt's feelings. That would have been simply crude of her to do so.

IN THE SUN ↝ kurt cobainWhere stories live. Discover now