Entry 5

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   Wednesday came faster than Maria thought it would

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Wednesday came faster than Maria thought it would. She sat on her floor, sorting through the clothing Clementine had given her in search of something to wear. Now that she had a choice, it was hard to pick out what she wanted. It made getting ready feel like it took hours longer than it used to, but somehow, she felt more relaxed.

     Ask your husband how he would like you to dress.

      That was what she had always learned in her lessons. What she had always believed. Now, as she held up a black sweater with a red ribbon, and a long tulle skirt, she wondered if Spencer Blake would have approved of it. Probably not, but he wasn't here, and she didn't have to ask him.

     Her lips twitched in a smile, but she shook it away.

     No, she shouldn't feel that way. Where were the women in the Bible who were giddy at the thought of defying their husbands? That loved to revel in the freedom to disobey those over them?

     She dressed herself, trying to clear her head of those thoughts, the thoughts that made her chest clench. She sat on the bed afterwards, and started to work her hair into a braid.

     There was a knock on the door, and she told whoever it was to come in. Carmen walked in, dressed in a nice pair of jeans and a black button up, more formal than Maria had ever seen her before, save for the same studded black boots she always wore.

      "Are you ready?" She asked.

       "Nearly." Maria answered, trying off the end of her braid. Her eyes cut over to Carmen. "But I am a bit nervous."

       "Don't worry." Carmen smiled. "It's just the council. They don't bite."

       Maria tried to smile at her joke, but it was like she couldn't force her muscles to do what they didn't want to do. Carmen gave her a sympathetic smile and walked over to sit beside her on the bed.

       "It's really not that big of a deal." Carmen said, placing her hand on top of Maria's.

       They had been doing this a lot lately, touching each other in small ways, and it was beginning to feel like a dangerous game. Like putting your hand next to the stovetop, just enough to enjoy the heat, but not so close you were burned. Maria couldn't understand why it felt like this, but some part of her knew she should be more careful.

       "I guess." This time Maria was able to force her smile. Carmen smiled back, but something told her she still wasn't convinced.

       Maria pulled her hand away, and stood up.

       "Shall I walk you down the stairs?" Carmen asked, offering her arm.

       The urge to say yes flooded Maria, but this time she was able to overcome it.

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