Forever Lies

~5~

A/N: Hey everybody! Just before this chapter starts, a little explanation.  The majority of this chapter takes place in a flashback, with only the final bit happening in the current timeline. It'll be clear when the change from past to present occurs, but it will start in the past. So, that's that. Enjoy!

I was sitting in my corner, sobbing to no end; curled in a ball with my fingernails digging into my arm, deepening the scars that were already there. By now it had become second instinct, I could find them even through my jacket.

I wanted someone to tell me it was alright, to pull me out of this pit I had created. But Logan would never understand, and it would kill Patton to know his "dark strange son" went through attacks like this. So, I was alone. Until I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Anxiety?" I heard Roman's voice say, me still refusing to look up from the darkness. I shuddered, my breath catching once more as I tried to pull myself back enough to understand what was going on.

His arm pulled me closer in, making it so my hand was resting against his chest. I gripped on the fabric of his sash then, sobbing into the white fabric beside it. What was the point in keeping it together now?

"Shh... it's okay Anxiety. Just breathe." He said, using his arm to roll small circles on my back. I tried to listen to him, struggling slightly but being able to slow down a bit, thanks to his soothing voice. He continued to hold me, whispering small helping words in my ear, running his fingers through my hair. After about 10 minutes, my tears had stopped; I released myself from his chest, just enough to look in his face as I sat up.

"Thanks." I said, cheeks still wet from the many tears.

"Of course." He said, smiling lightly. "You know all you need to do is call for one of us, we'll be here to help."

"No." I said, somewhat afraid. "Please, you can't tell the others. I don't want to worry Patton, and I don't even know how Logan would react, I just..." before my thoughts could start to swirl again, I was cut off as he reached out, reassuringly rubbing my forearm.

"Okay." He said. "I won't say a word. But you have to promise to call me next time, okay?" I nodded. "Good. Why wouldn't you say something to me, Anxiety? I mean, I get why you wouldn't tell Patton or Logan, but I'm a prince. I'm here to help you guys through times like this."

"I know, it's just... I hate thinking I bother you. I mean, we spend half our time arguing, and you call me just about every insult you can think of. That doesn't exactly convey 'best friends.'"

"I know, and that's on me. I'm sorry, Anxiety. It's hard for me sometimes, you know? I mean, you used to hang solely with the dark sides. In fact, for the first 4 years we knew each other, you never said a word to me. It was hard to connect with you when you never even spoke."

"What can I say? My names Anxiety for a reason. It kinda kicks in. So I didn't want you to know anything. Can't be judged too harshly if they know nothing about you, right?"

"Hey, it's fine. Let's just say we both made mistakes, okay? Now, come on. Let's go get some food, and maybe watch some Parks and Rec?" I smiled slightly, and he stood up, offering his hand. He helped lift me up, and we left my room together.

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That had been the only time I had ever truly calmed down from an anxiety attack. I hadn't had one that bad in a long time, so I hadn't needed to call him since. But it was always reassuring to know that I could rely on him if needed, and he wouldn't tell a soul. In fact, it was often that thought that kept them from getting so bad.

But now, even my fondest memory had been ruined. Because I know that I can never call on him again.