Attention [Tom Riddle]

3.8

Loella pov

I still cannot believe that he got permission to stay in the school for the summer break.

I am very sure that he has more intentions than to just stay in the school. As for now, it is Christmas. I decided to stay in Hogwarts and just bear with all the happy kids and decorations that were bothering me to no end.

All my 'friends' were leaving so it would just be Tom and me. I did not really mind if I should be honest. We want each other for the need that every human being has, just a game to play, something to look forward to, feeling the loneliness slowly fading.

I am not in love though, and neither is Riddle.

He can't and I won't. I do not know what to feel or think when reality and insanity lay so close in my head. When you are not even sure if it really happened or that it was just a dream, maybe the dream was a vision made out of the facts I was too blind to see.

I see things that aren't here, hear things while no sound is made, I feel things with a shattered dark cold heart.
I did not plan on showing my face to anyone today.

I walked to the bathroom and looked into the mirror, even my own eyes haunted me. And if you think that this is going to be the moment I break down and all, then you are very right.

Do you all know that feeling when so much has happened, and it's just too much to progress that you just live in the now with the feeling of not having an identity, or a label. I can not label my pain as it is not my own that hurts so much.

The loss was unbearable, and when I walked over that line, there was no going back. I had failed in any form of family I ever had. But no of course it had not ended yet.

If you draw all the lines back to the beginning, there is just one simple dark thought, as soon as that thought is shared, then the real things happen.

My mind raced back to the last summer break, how I have not spoken a word of that incident. Even thinking about it made the rage in me boil up. Riddle simply did not say anything about it because he didn't know. You are oblivious for the things you're eyes can not yet see.

I hate to be upset with a person, that means that they hold power over you. In this case, it was just one guy who literally possessed power over me. I have not been able to cause harm to anyone, not that I wanted to. But the words still rang through my head.

'' Not a drip of blood will be spilled by your hands as long as I am alive.''

Only in my dreams I can, but that is like a black hole I fall in every night. It affects me just as much.

Ever since that dream I felt like someone was watching over me. Or rather, a particular person. I could feel his presence. But he even said so himself that he could not enter, or come close for that matter, to Hogwarts.

I looked at my glossy eyes in the mirror, my hands shaking and my skin deadly pale. I couldn't even look at myself. What have I become? Why is it that I can not reach my memories to seek for who I am.

Do I really need a guy to comfort me every time?

No I don't. And here I am thinking about him. I know what he feels, he most certainly doesn't need me, more like a wanting. Sure, I posses power over things he doesn't, but I was nothing more than his craving, addiction. To just fill that emptiness that is also described as loneliness.

Even though he will never admit, he finds peace in the knowing of having someone by his side. Voluntarily.
That won't last forever though. It will give him strength to be in my presence, but I won't give him the future he is already building for himself.

For the umpteenth time I took out my wand and waved it in front of me. I walked out of my bathroom after switching off the light and opened my dorm room.

Let's just go outside for a little while. I have nothing to lone anyway. I knew I had to see Riddle at least for a few minutes because otherwise I will go crazy and he will knock down my door.

I did not wish to see him as a distraction, and I am sure he thinks the same. More like a passenger that was in the same train as you, talking for the whole ride because you don't want to spend the long journey alone, while you split apart once you reached your destination.

Without even taking any notice to where I was walking, I bumped into a hard chest.

There is a first for everything apparently.

When looked up I saw to my relief that it was Tom. Instead of stepping away from him like me and my great personality are used to do, I wrapped my arms around him. Surprisingly I felt him hugging back, and his face nuzzled in the crook of my neck, in my hair that hung loosly on my shoulders.

After a long embrace, we parted and just looked at each other, and for some twisted reason a genuine smile made its way on my lips.

" Happy Christmas.'' I said, not mentioning a name seen the fact that it will probably be peculiar if I still called him by his last name, but I knew he hated the name Tom.

He did not seem to care about Christmas whatsoever but even he said something.

'' Happy Christmas, Loella.''

Just after those words left his mouth I felt an intense cold feeling again, like it was freezing. And after what I saw my heart almost stopped.

He could not be in Hogwarts he said it himself, what is he doing here?

'' Loella, are you okay? You're freezing. What are you looking at?'' Riddle said.

'' At him.'' I simply said and pointed at the smirking guy a few meters away from us.

'' There is no one there.''

A/N
Im sorry that it took so long again but I've already written chapters for the future, this one is a bit short but I'll be late for school if I don't leave now and I wanted to upload

thank you so much for reading

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