I walked in the house i had a smile on my face then it faded when I saw my mom speaking to some officers. " Mom whats going on," I asked trying to keep the worry out of my voice. She sat me down and told me what happened. I cried my eyes out I couldn't breath I was crying so hard. I got up and went into the kitchen. I got something to drink and went to bed. My cousin Austin he.. Well... He killed himself.
I laid in bed just replaying baby don't cut and battle scars. I can't believe it he really is gone. It should have been me hanging there not him. I kept thinking that to myself then it happened again. I started to scream and put my hands over my ears. I had no idea what I was screaming I can remember screaming " No! Don't go! Don't do it!" then continuing gun shots images flying threw my head. Then I see my mom run in I'm still screaming I hear her say " Shit you didn't take your medication!" Yet again i awoke to the bright light on the ceiling of a hospital room.
" Mom," I mumbled. " Yes sweetie are you okay," I nodded " I'm fine just didn't take my medication and got bad again." i just sat up looking at the wall. i forget to blink a lot so I look like a creep just staring at the wall. " mom when can we go home I want to be in my bed," I said in a quiet voice since I had just woke up. " um I don't know let me see," A few minutes later a nurse came in and cheeked me out a bit and said I was good to go.
Once we got home my mom made dinner and we sat at the table. " don't forget to take your medication we wouldn't want that to happen again." I nodded. " Trust me mom I don't want it happening again either it was hard on me too." I said a bit annoyed. " Right I'm sorry i wasn't thinking." I was done so I looked up and my mom was just looking at me. " Yes," I asked " Nothing i didn't mean to stare, you just look so much like your dad." Ugh she did not just bring him up. " Can I be excused mom," She nodded so I pushed my chair in and headed up stairs. " I'm going to shower mom," I called out " Don't take forever we're going to see a movie tonight with Logan,"
" It would be nice if you where to give me more of a heads up next time," I said heading into the bathroom. " Well sorry your hence jeez." I rolled my eyes and got in the shower. I'm only acting this way with her because she brought up my dad she knows that pisses me off. I had my songs on shuffle while I was in the shower first it was Gangsta sexy by Hollywood undead then changed to you are the heart. " I think my shuffle is bipolar," I mumbled.
I got out and got ready then went down stairs. I sat down then there was a knock on the door. I looked at my mom expecting her to get it. She didn't. " I GOT IT MOM," I shouted to show i was a bit annoyed " Okay you do that," I shot her a look then went to get the door. " Hi Logan," My mom walked over " Oh so now you get up," I mumbled under my breath i thought only I could hear but my mom could to she smacked me the back of the head. " Um ow that hurt,"
" Then don't sass your mom," She whispered. " Okay lets go!" OH whatever i thought to myself. " You okay Alexa I didn't find out what happened until you got out of the hospital," He has worry on his face. " The usual answer to your usual question I'm fine, I'll be at school tomorrow." He froze. " Is something wrong?" I asked he looked a bit guilty. " Well.. um you see uh," He cleared his throat " People at school found out what happened and I don't think it would be a good idea for you to go back tomorrow." I rolled my eyes his worrying is cute but at the same time a bit over rated I've had this pain for a while I think i can take a little more. " I'll be fine," I assured him.
After the movie we where standing outside talking while mom was in the bathroom. " So um about what happened last night," He started " No its okay I can understand it was all in the moment I guess," He nodded and it went quiet. " Well actually no," I raised an eyebrow " What do you mean by that," i said with a confused tone in my voice. " I mean I did it because I like you a lot," I just said oh and looked at the ground shuffling my feet.
" I mean who wouldn't your perfect your nice to me and you have an amazing taste in music," He joked. " How can you love me when I'm suicidal and I cut?" I asked and he went quiet. Then he grabbed my arm and pulled my sleeve up and kissed my scars i wanted to cry. " i kiss the scars on your wrist because i won't let the past define you like i said I plan to bring the light back into your dark world and that's what i'm doing," Just then i pulled my sleeve down and my mom came home " Okay lets go home I'm tired," She said with energy I think she just didn't like me spending time with someone other than her.
