A Greater Good (girlxgirl)

Pillow Talk

We lay in bed together, she'd done the washing up alone while I showered and treated the healing wound on my leg. She'd been quiet since everyone had left, but it didn't stop her from crawling on top of me and throwing her head back in pleasure. And now we lay side by side, staring up at the same area of ceiling, gathering our breath and probably thinking some of the same thoughts. I wanted to know how she felt when she saw Jane, but asking her this was somehow too personal, even though she was about to be my wife and spend the rest of her life with me. 

She pulled the doona up closer to her face, it was a cute habit of her's that I could almost count down the seconds to happening.

"Would you tell me?" I asked, disturbing the silence and the darkness that had settled around us.

She pulled the doona down again. "What?"

"If something happened between you and Jane again."

She didn't answer me straight away, it reminded me of the silences from years ago when I first asked questions about the relationship after that Christmas. It was these silences that made me wonder if I really knew everything and her vague answers that confirmed I didn't even know half of what happened between them. 

Trust me, I couldn't care less who Jane was interested in. I was actually glad when she told me she preferred girls because I could relax that she wouldn't become just another guy's thing to show off because of her looks. But I do care when she's interested in the love of my life. And I couldn't care what Everlyn was interested in either, because I knew she loved me and that was enough for me to put my full faith in her.

"Oh," she said, thrown off by the question. "Um... nothing did happen, we were just friends."

But were they? I could drive myself crazy thinking about the first two years we were together when Everlyn always seemed to be meeting Jane, but I was being ridiculous, they were - had been - best friends after all. 

"Ok, but if something happens I'd prefer to know, I want to know everything that's going on before I marry you."

I felt like a dick saying it, but it was true. I didn't want to marry Everlyn if she was having an affair and passing it off as being old friends having fun. 

"Nothing will happen."

And she said it so quietly and in a tone of betrayal before rolling over to sleep that I knew I would be up all night thinking about what that tone really meant.