A Greater Good (girlxgirl)

Boxes

All of the boxes were loaded into the back of his ute, my own were lining the sides of the hallway ready for Steph to come and help me find a storage unit. It was odd to load all of my processions into a box and tape them up to be brought out when my life was back to normal, but I suppose I had wanted to do it, I had other options.

I walked around my home of 6 years letting my eyes wander to spots where things that were now in boxes in the hallway had sat. Dust had already begun to settle on the ground and even though everything was gone, it didn't feel empty or bare, it felt heavy, like something was in the air. 

My footsteps echoed off the floorboards as I wandered from room to room taking a last look at the place I fell in love with during my last year of uni. I had to work so hard to afford rent every month, but I was proud of the result of my hard work because it was my own home where I ended up each night doing whatever I wanted. 

My mindless drifting ended in the lounge room, I was looking out the windows to the small garden that I'd never taken much care for but I liked the idea that if I ever wanted to take up gardening, I could. It was silent apart from the birds out in the air, the soft wind that rustled the leaves and the cars and people out in the streets beyond my own little world. 

I heard his keys give their metallic jingle as he put them in his pocket and then his footsteps coming up behind me. I turned to him, he had become a ghost of the man he was. His eyes were bloodshot and he hadn't shaved in a while, probably in the three weeks since everything had happened. But he was being extremely calm and collected about everything, he was grown up and mature, we'd spoken rationally and I was as happy as I could be with the outcome. We would never be friends, I don't think having sex with his sister would be really something he looks for in a friend. 

I sighed and smiled at him a little, he didn't smile back at me. I was mad at him for how well he was handling it, he'd only flown off the handle when he arrived home after walking for six hours and he was drunk, and  in the morning he apologised! 

"This is it then," he said, he looked a little teary, he had cried a lot lately.

"Yeah." We both looked around the room as if expecting to see its future and the person moving in next.

"It's been a good place."

I nodded and we met each other's eyes again. "Yeah."

"So where to first?" he asked.

"England, I've always wanted to go."

"Well I hope it works out for you."

I smiled. See? Too fucking nice. I wanted to shake him while yelling all the things I'd done to Jane in our bed till he yelled back and realised what I'd actually done.

"I really hope it works out for you too." The corners of his mouth lifted a little. "I did love you, James."

"I know." He nodded sadly. "I know you did."

"And I really didn't want to hurt you."

He nodded again before looking down at the ground and shrugging, I think he was crying again. "Some things just aren't apart of the bigger picture." He looked up, he wasn't crying. "Bye, Everlyn."

"Bye."

He turned around and left, stopping for a brief moment in the doorway before leaving completely. He got into his ute, started it and drove away. I remained standing where I was in the middle of the empty room waiting for my sister to take me to a storage unit before dropping me off the airport. When I walked into work the morning James proposed I didn't expect that 4 months later I'd be walking back into work and handing in my resignation to go spend my savings to travel around the globe.