Mind to Metal

Chapter 1

"Darling, you need to write something down," Mrs. Michael voiced while looking over my shoulder. I jumped at her sudden comment, but I had been expecting it for a while. The clock tormented me with its constant ticking. My mind fell into a spiral of dread and I almost wished there was someone in my class who also glanced around the room. But, no one met my gaze. I made a tight lipped grimace and silently convinced my teacher to bug someone else. My situation was pitiful enough as it was.

It's those moments when you think of everything but what you are supposed to. I wanted so badly to write about the complexities of Brave New World but couldn't help myself from worrying about failing or feeling like I didn't know what I was doing. Which in all honesty, I had no clue what I was doing. I blew off most of the writing practices for... other things. Work. Cleaning the house. Taking care of my Momma and friends. Stuff I felt like should be easy enough but ended up taking all of my time.

All of it was worth it though. At least for those, I could see a physical outcome instead of just a number or a dependence on societal expectations to feel self-worth. Yeah, I definitely didn't mind the trade off.

Dang, I really need to sleep more. Maybe I can do that when I get home. Pass out in bliss from having two weeks of peace and snow.

I gazed out the window. There is a twinkle of old and new snow on the ground, the trees, the birds...

Mrs. Michael tapped a pen on my desk. I was both pissed but thankful to get my attention back.

Too fast, fifteen minutes passed and I walked out of the room with a three paragraph essay to prove what I knew about American Literature. I couldn't stop stretching my fingers to lessen my hand cramp.

Only three more exams to go. And only two of them that I am confident will go well.

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My best friend Saturn and I walked to the lunch room, spending five minutes to rant about dumb test questions. The mood around us was giddy with excitement of winter vacation beginning, or school temporarily ending for two weeks. It seems only Saturn huffed out a breath at the idea of being out of school. One of the few things different between us.

Watching her make a face, continue to talk, and angrily fix her chocolate brown hair while further tangling it in her face made me smile.

I wrapped Saturn in a walking side hug until she stopped struggling and leaned into my shoulder. I took a moment to brush the back of her hair before letting go. My heart fluttered as we walked to our table.

Out class size was small enough that you could pick your friends out from a crowd. And it was definitely not hard to see our quirky group of people out of the sea of people.

Like always, Jackson was the first to see us and raised a hand in greeting.

"Ladies! Late again? You are leaving me here all alone and closer to falling into a pit of despair," Jackson composed with his normal dramatics and lighthearted whining.

"All Charlie's fault."

From our seats was another view of outside but with full length windows and a perfect view of the courtyard. It was one of the few years when it snowed this early in January. The windows didn't stop the chill from sleeping in though. All of us wore some sort of winter clothing, including Saturn snuggled into her NASA hoodie with sleeves pulled past her wrists.

It was all too normal for Saturn to become the center of attention when we sat down. Honestly, I preferred it that way. I was left to my own devices and silently listened in.