Back From Juvie

Screw Ups

Today is my birthday!

I lock eyes with Noah. His eyes show that he is mad, sad, and disappointed?
It is painful to look into his eyes. I can feel myself melting under his gaze and it is killing me to keep watching. I know I can't look away so I hold my ground and internally die.

He lightly shakes his head, still making eye contact with me, and walks in the opposite direction of me.

I feel like part of me just died on the inside. It probably did. I could feel my heart crack and fall to the pit of my stomach.

I turn away from his back and run to the bathroom. I push open the door and run inti the last stall.

I grab the toilet seat and put it down, then take a seat. I look up at the ceiling and think to myself "what have I done?"

I just ruined my relationship with Noah. Damn it!

And things were going we'll between us. I just had to ruin it all.

I hear the bell ring indicating students that they need to go to class. I ignore it and wait for the second bell to ring. When it does I get out of the stall and out of that bathroom.

I start walking through the halls when I see a figure. A familiar figure.

I start walking towards it when I realize who it is. Noah.

I keep walking towards him until he turns his head in my direction. I walk slower towards him.

He was leaning against the lockers near the exit. His back was turned to me but now he is facing me. He stands upright and has his hands in his pockets. He turns the other way and starts to walk.

"Noah, wait!"

"Why should I?" He suddenly stops walking and turns to face me "Do you want me to just wait till you are done with Jackson. I don't want his slutty leftovers."

Okay, that hurt. It shatters my already broken heart. He doesn't want me?

"This isn't what it looks like" I try to explain

"Oh really? Then what is it?"

I am at a loss for words. I can't tell Noah it is fake, otherwise Jackson will punish me.

"I-I can't tell you"

Noah scoffs

"I don't even care. Jackson can have you."

"No, Noah you don't understand-"

"No Tess, you don't understand. I dont want you. I don't care if Jackson dates you. I just hate that you lead me on. I hate that you made me catch feelings for you and then thrown me away for my cousin. My fucking cousin." Noah raises his voice with the last sentence.

I can't look him in the eye. I admit defeat and look and the ground.

"Why are you even out here, Tess?"

"I-I can't face what I've done"

"No, you mean you can't be the center of attention. I know you hate attention. You have no problem with facing what you have done. Want to know how I know that? Because you are talking to me right now. You are talling to the guy that got his heart broken by you. You are facing what you have done right this fucking second. Don't give me that bull shit of "I can't face what I have done" because you are right now. I don't know what made you so fucking cold or what made you never cry or what your past is like. That is because you don't trust me enough to tell me that. You moved on pretty quickly. I thought we were doing well at the party but then you come to school and make out with Jackson. I don't know why you are such a fucking bitch but it sure-"

"You want to know why I am such a fucking bitch? It is because I watched my father kill my mother right in front of me. At one point I was a angel, just like my mom. But then my asshole of a father had to ruin me. He was a druggie and a drunk. He spent almost all our money on drugs and alcohol. One day he came home after spending 5,000 fucking dollars. He started fighting with my mom and then he got so fucking pissed he grabbed a pistol and tried to shoot my mom in the head. He was so drunk and high all at the same time that he couldn't shoot straight. He shot her multiple times in the shoulder and chest. When he did he grabbed some shit and was on the run. He never came back. I sat there on the floor next to my dieing mother. When she took her final breath, we were both surrounded by tears. I call the cops but they couldn't do anything. There was no funeral, not a single fucking thing for my mothers death. When they caught my father, he was sentanced to life in jail. I haven't had parents for years. I didn't have foster parents. No one wanted me. I have lived on my own since I was seven. And you want to know how I got in juvie? I killed a guy. Thats right, I am a murderer. I was walking on the street and a guy came up to me saying all this shit about my parents. I don't even know how he found out about them. It got on my nevers. He told me he was the guy that sold my father drugs and alchohol. He was who changed my father into to douche he was all those years ago. The guy from the street dug up things from my past that took years for me to bury deep inside of me. So I fought him away from me. He ran so I got in my car. He stoped suddenly and I tried to stop in time but I couldn't. I ran him over and killed him. And finally the reason I never cry is because of everything. Everytime I did something wrong my dad would hit me and I would cry. Everytime I would feel the least bit sad I would cry. And I didn't want to be that person anymore. So I don't cry" when I was done with my speech I realized I cried. I don't remember when I started but I haven't stopped. "Well, I used to never cry" I gather myself together and ran to the exit of the school. I rush out the doors and run straight to my car. I speed down the street until I get to a familiar place.............
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Sorry to leave you on a cliff hanger but I had to do it. Now I have a few announcements.

1) today is my birthday so......yea

2) we got 1k reads. I think we are close to 1.3k reads but I am hoping by Monday we will get 1.5k reads. You all got 1k reads the day I said I wanted to get it by tomorrow. That was so great to log on to Wattpad later that day and see I got 1k reads Thank you so much!

3) there won't be very many chapters left. You guys know all books have to come to an end at some point. And this book is nearing its end. There will still be at least 3 chapters left but I am not going to say a number and try to stick with it.

Thank you all so much for everything!

Baiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii