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I get the stepladder in place and climb to the top, pursing my lips as I look down at those precious little creatures.

Then it hits me that I have no way to carry them back up to my apartment.

“Shit! Shit! Shit!”

I’m back up and down a few minutes later with an oversized blanket that I’m going to have to improvise into some sort of carrying apparatus, like a stork delivering triplets.

I carefully go to the top of the step, hold my breath, and start to lower myself in…praying to god I don’t step on a syringe.

The only problem is these little guys keep moving right to where I want to step. God, they’re so perfect, so lovable, and so everything I don’t have space for and can’t afford right now.

A tear slides down my eye as I grit my teeth. I manage to wiggle my foot in-between two of them and lower myself into the trash.

Thankfully the layer that covers the bottom isn’t that thick, but it sure does smell like the throwaway from the Chinese take-out place around the corner.

Oh well. There’s no time to worry about myself right now. I’ve got to rescue these gorgeous little fur balls of joy.

I manage to get them situated in the blanket and kind of wrapped around my neck. I’m suddenly feeling pretty good about myself, despite the fact that they’re heavy as hell and getting them out of here safely and back down that ladder is gonna be tough.

“Got ya, bitch!” someone yells and I hear footsteps and the sound of my ladder being swiped, just before laughter that I swear is mixed in with the whistle of someone missing their two front teeth.

And then the lid comes flopping down.

I cradle the blanket with one hand and raise the other so it doesn’t hit me in the head, but it’s too late.

Everything goes black.

Delaney

“Good morning. Can you please tell me where you get your shots done for the animals that are brought in for adoption?”

It’s exactly nine on the dot and I’m miraculously back in my apartment. I blacked out for just a few minutes and when I came to I spent the next forty-five minutes trying to get that damn dumpsterlid to stay open. Just when my muscles were so fatigued, and filled with enough lactic acid to render me immobile, two prostitutes came and saved me just before the five a.m. trash truck arrived.

Saved from a dumpster by two hookers just before sunrise. Remind me to sell that story to someone in Hollywood.

But did those ladies ever have a big heart, and they even helped bring the puppies up to my apartment. In hindsight it seemed kind of foolish to let them inside the building and all the way up to my door, but if they weren’t nice they would have just left me in the dumpster, right? I didn’t invite them in for coffee and biscuits, and technically they didn’t step foot inside my place, only making it as far as standing in front in the hallway. That said, I did run back down with my last two pints of Ben & Jerry’s and a couple of spoons to show my appreciation for all they did. I told them they could keep the spoons, and gave them each a Puerto Vallarta magnet from my fridge too. Not that I’ve ever been to Puerto Vallarta, but hey, they were two for ninety-nine cents at Dollar General and they were colorful, happy, and served as motivation for me to make something out of my life.

“We inoculate all our animals in-house.”

“Oh. Well, I found some puppies that someone abandoned last night and I was wondering if you recommended anyone who could maybe give them the shots they need.”

“Well, if you’d like to put them up for adoption you’re welcome to bring them by here. There’s no charge.”

I swallow hard. “How long do you keep them?”

“Right now we’re at full capacity so maybe ten days…two weeks tops.”

“Two weeks!” I pause. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay. I feel terrible about it too, but you know…budget cuts.”

“But they’re three Samoyeds. I’m no expert but they look like purebreds.”

“Three of them is actually harder to sell than one, but we should be able to split them up and I’d be surprised if we have to put more than one of them down.”

I immediately start crying. My eyes move to the floor where all three of them are rolling around on the linoleum as one giant fluffy ball.

“Okay. Thanks.”

“Would you like to make an appointment to drop them off?”

“No thank you,” I say in-between sobs. I end the call before I embarrass myself anymore or have anymore of these thoughts.

“Fuck!” I yell at the top of my voice.

The worst phrase in the English language is no good deed goes unpunished. I absolutely hate it, but right now the universe is trying to tell me there might just be some truth to it

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