f r i e n d s || mark lee

t h i r t y o n e

To the love of my life,

No

Dear Melanie,

Nah

Melanie,

I'm just going to wing it

I don't even know how to start this letter, but I do
know that an apology is long overdue.

Melanie I am so sorry for all the continuous pain that I've put you through. After your relationship with Lucas I swore to myself that I would never hurt you that way, yet here we are. Since moving to Korea I've grown to become selfish, inconsistent, and in all honesty immature. I chose to only focus on my career rather than making sure the foundation that we built back home was secured. And for that I'm sorry.

I'm also sorry about the Dispatch and Mina situation. I never got to explain it to you so that's what I'm going to do right now. The pictures that were released of us were real, but I can assure you that it was strictly platonic. We hung out with one another because we sought out advice for each of our private relations. I never had the intentions of pursuing her nor did I want to. The only girl that has stayed on my mind, day in and day out, is you.

Immediately after the article was posted, I tried to contact you but they took away my phone and computer. Isolating me from the world in a sense. At first I was ready to call it quits and head home, but I didn't want to get this far just to let it all go. So I stayed and worked my ass off, and we're going on tour. We'll be in New York for a few days. I hope I get the opportunity to hand you this letter myself, that way you can receive the closure you deserve. While also being able to move on. I do not want to hurt you anymore, you deserve to be happy. Maybe we are just better off as friends.

I love you Melanie Sooyoung Seo,

I always have and always will.

-Mark

I folded up the letter and placed it inside of an envelope. Part of me regretting that this is the only time I've written a letter to Melanie, and I'm telling her to move on.

Guilt constantly washes over me, yet I still can't bring myself to reach out to her. Although I know it's selfish, I'm not ready to let go of Melanie. I know she'll want to stay friends, but it just won't be the same. She'll move on eventually. Maybe even fall in love with another guy. Of course she'll forget about little ole me. I wouldn't blame her.

Or maybe she has already moved on.

Would I even have the right to be mad if she did?

These types of thoughts rummage through my head everyday, no matter how much I try to shake it off these thoughts are all that I can imagine whenever Melanie comes to mind. Which is pretty often.

The bright side to all of this is that I am finally enjoying all of my hard work. Concerts, music shows, fan meetings, the list is endless. I truly feel like an artist, and it feels amazing. Since I'm signed to SM Entertainment, it's like I've been adopted into a huge new family. And I feel more connected with my identity.

I'm growing as a person and although I wish Melanie was here to grow beside me, I think this time by myself is well needed.