"It takes a very special kind of idiot to pull off what you just did."
"-Screw you! This never would have happened if you had taken your medication!"
[Short stories, The Jinchuuriki Alliance, random humour, OOCness, references, advice, etc. Doesn't...
"Fourth wall?" Sasuke furrowed his brows and stared at Yagura, who was holding out a piece of paper out towards him. "What's that?"
Naruto was sat at his desk, leaning back in his seat with his eyes glistening with curiosity. "Hm? Hm? Tell me Yagura!" He clapped his hands together.
Yagura sighed as Sasuke took the paper. "We have a request from the audience." He stared at the Uchiha directly in the eye. "We are an entertainment TV Show. An anime."
Blinking, Naruto fell silent. He tapped the table and exchanged glances with Sasuke, who snorted. "You're fucking with us."
"Nope." Yagura smiled and shook his head. "Have your existential crisis later-"
"Nothing matters."
The ex-Mizukage raised his hand to stop them, "Wait, we need to go forward with this request-"
"We are pawns in a game."
"-No, no, let's do this later-"
Naruto slammed his head down on the table. "Life is fake and inconsequential!"
Yagura groaned, this was exactly why he didn't want them to get involved. But nooooo, someone HAD to ask Sasuke a question. He rolled his eyes, he wanted to get more questions, he barely got any screen time in the actual anime.
And he was a Kage! He should have been powerful and one of the most important characters in the whole series!
Sasuke exhaled and tried to put the fact that NOTHING MATTERS out of his mind. Unfolding the piece of paper, he started coughing and choked on his own saliva.
"What the hell?!" He spluttered.
Yagura snatched the paper away. As he read it, his eyes widened. "Oh, okay. Right, so NightshadePlayz wants to ask Sasuke..." He stifled a chuckle, "Do you have a secret crush on the Snake Paedophile?"
Naruto spat out the tea he was drinking and burst into laughter. "HA! What?!" He pointed and cackled at Sasuke's infuriated expression. "Yeah Sasuke! Did you like being entered by Orochipedo?!"
"What? NO!" Sasuke shook his head fervently and facepalmed. "Why would you do this NightshadePlayz? How? Why? But I killed him!"
Naruto shrugged and nudged an amused Yagura. "So it was a lover's spat?"
"No, it wasn't a lover's spat..."
Yagura leaned back on the table, Naruto was behind - sitting on his Kage seat, fingers intertwined.
"You were his apprentice, right?" He asked, Sasuke slowly nodded.
"So you would do anything he asked?" Yagura raised an eyebrow.
"Well..." Sasuke nervously started.
Naruto grinned. "Like, suck his dick?"
"WHAT?!" Sasuke yelled, he cringed and a shiver ran down his spine.
"No? That's what we all just naturally assumed, well, Orochimaru's gay right?" Naruto reasoned.
"Orochimaru's gay?!"
Simultaneously, Naruto and Yagura groaned. They exchanged glances which basically said what the fuck is wrong with this boy? I'm done. Yep, I'm done.
Naruto placed his hands on the desk and pushed himself up, so that he was standing. He strode towards the confused, angry, and conflicted Sasuke, and pat his back sympathetically, a small smile on his lips.
"Sasuke, you're so dumb sometimes. He wasn't interested in Tsunade, he always liked to have boy's bodies, and he basically kidnapped you." Sasuke started to sob. "Oh, don't cry 'suke."
"I didn't know he was gay!" Sasuke cried. "We're in a fucking anime!"
Yagura gave a fake smile. "Well, off to a good start then."
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