Unexpected

Dada

Once they gave me the all clear to go home from the hospital I went to my new home. Natasha stayed with me the first couple of days but for the rest of the 9 months I've been on my own. Everyone occasionally drops by to see the baby and sometimes give me a little break but I turned anyone down that wanted to babysit or stay the night.

I didn't celebrate my birthday, nor Bucky's. Both days was pretty depressing and as Much as People tried to cheer me up, nothing was going to happy to spend another year without Bucky. I was too busy anyways. Everyone just brought me a cupcake and chilled with me for a bit. 

My two hours of sleep turned into 6 hours which I take extreme advantage of. The moment he takes his naps I sleep with him. Anything I need to do I try and do when he is awake if not I sacrifice my nap. Some times I'll shower once I put him to bed. And since he is getting more sleep he is sleeping in his own room.

He has plenty of toys to play with during the day so he isn't bored and soon a play mate. Pepper told me yesterday she was expecting and I was excited.

Stevie's teeth have already started coming in and his habit to bite things is starting. He's also standing up for little bits at a time but not walking, yet. 

Little Stevie is definitely more fun to hang out with as the months go by. He is also very quiet, he isn't much of a crier. There was one time when he tried standing up he fell forward on his face, not one tear. He looked funny cause he made an annoyed face. It left a bump on his head since I he was on carpet. 

The only time he will cry would be before its his bedtime. When it's time to eat he starts making this whining noise once he sees me preparing his food. 

Another thing he does is clap and wiggle around whenever I put Elvis Presley on. I listened to it a lot while I was pregnant with Stevie because it's what really calmed me or lifted my mood. Looks like I am not the only one who enjoyed his music during that time.  

Currently, I was teaching him to walk or at least stay up a little longer on his legs when there was a knock at the door. I got up and took him into my arms and gave him the toy he was chewing on previously. 

When I open the door I'm faced with Steve sr. and Stevie gave him a big smile. Outside of the people that come by often Steve doesn't really like people. And of course his Uncle Steve is his favorite. 

"Rogers!" I greeted giving him a big hug. 

"Come here you little monster," Steve softly clapped his hands asking for permission to hold his nephew. And without hesitation my baby opened his arms up to be carried. 

"How are you?" Rogers asked walking into the living room. 

"Great, Steve's a fast learner. Almost too fast, it scares me," I laughed. 

While in his uncles arms, Stevie starts making babbling noises as if he was in the conversation. He has been doing a lot of that lately and it was my favorite because we have fake conversations almost all day. 

"He's just like his dad," Cap coos. His name maybe be Steve but he is a replica of his dad. Brown long hair, icy blue eyes, which are small like Bucky's. "He still hasn't said a word?" 

I shook my head. "I've been teaching him how to say dada." Every single day, day and night I show him the framed picture by his bed of Bucky and say 'Dada' severals times. When I say 'bye dada' he waves at the photo but not much else. Every morning I tell him to say 'hi dada' but he just waves. 

I do notice that any photo of Bucky gets him mesmerized immediately and its so funny. I once let him have a photo of Bucky that I cut out of a news paper and he did not let go of that paper. I tried taking it from him so that he wouldn't loose it or dirty it but he had other plans. 

"You got to learn to talk buddy so we can have conversations, and you can tell me how cool I am," I left Rogers with Steve to get us waters and a loose photo of Bucky to show Steve how he gets. It's so funny and cute.  

"Watch this Cap," I removed Steve's toy which he was gnawing on and handed him a Polaroid of Bucky that I took on his birthday. Bucky in the photo was filled with red lipstick on his face, a drink in his hand, and he was laughing in the photo. 

It is my favorite photo of him ever because that was the same day Bucky and I fist kissed and the first time he confessed he loved me. It was one of the happiest I've also made him. I keep that photo hidden for just my eyes but it was the first photo I grabbed in my little drawer. 

Steve took it without a problem and stared at it intensely, he has his mouth agape a little , like always, and he had his index finger softly rubbing the photo. Both Steve and I laughed watching my chunky monkey staring at a photo. 

"He only does this with photos of Bucky, I tried giving him one of me and he lets it go after a few seconds," I sighed. This made Steve laugh even more. 

"Who is that handsome fella?" I asked. I always ask him who that is whenever he has a photo in his hands or is looking at one so he can familiarize himself with that person. He never answers of course so i always give him the response to help. "That's dada my love." 

"Da..da," Little Barnes says. In that moment I got tears in my eyes and Steve's eyes went wide. He makes a lot of noises but this was clear. The pronunciation of the D was the best I've heard from him. 

"Yeah baby that's your daddy," Steve says jumping him around in joy. I wanted to jump and yell but I didn't want to startle him. Steve planted kisses on his head and cheek while I took Steve's chunky arm and planted a big kiss on the one holding the photo. 

I brought Steve's waist in for a hug as he held Steven. Steve groaned as I gave him a big squeeze. This was one of the happiest moments of my life, I just wish Bucky was here. I was in denial he was gone. He will come back, he ALWAYS does. 

What was getting me through the single mother mentality was that Steve had plenty of aunts and uncles. Uncle Tony was the crazy and fun one, he never failed to make Steven laugh. Pepper was also crazy and fun like Tony which you don't get to see often. They also take my mind off all the things that went wrong. Instead I focus on their bickering and jokes. I also thank them everyday for helping me with the house and being close to them. 

Aunt Natasha was the sweet one that spoils him. Most of his things were bought from Natasha. Steven loved to give her toys I guess he copies the fact that she is always giving him something new every time she comes over. She and I always drink our problems away and laugh until our guts hurt. I love her to dead. We cry sometimes going on about how much we love and need each other.

Uncle Rhodey and Bruce are the calm and busy ones. When they visit Steven gets hesitant but then warms up to them. They are the ones that are silly and weird. They make Steven babble a lot. They also loved to take me out of my house the times they visit. 

Uncle Rogers is the calmest one but maybe the sweetest one. Between him and Natasha I don't know who visits more. It's hard to take Steven away from Nat but it's even harder from Steve. Steve absolutely loves Steven like his own. Not that no one else does but I could tell he like kind of parenting Steve a bit. Steve helped Steven learn to stand, helped bath him, put him to sleep, and he LOVED dressing Steven. 

But I think Rogers is the biggest relief when I had visitors. He understood me more than any one else, he knows what I need. When we get together we are napping, watching a movie, exchanging stories, or just sitting in silence. Besides Bucky and Steven, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. 

We where close but Bucky brought us closer.