Unexpected

R.I.P Tony

In our line of work there is usually no time to grieve. Natasha's death was quick and unexpected, we couldn't give ourselves more time to grief if we wanted to. It's just how it is being an avenger. Not matter a funeral or not we all appreciate and miss our loved ones when they pass. Yes depending on the circumstance and the connection the process might not last as long as others.

I had to put a pause on grieving Natasha's death.  We all did. We had to make her death worth it, make her proud. After all this has passed I still cry at night  or looking at our photos together. Any time I think about her my heart drops to my stomach in pain. 

In the process of making her sacrifice worth it, we lost another big addition of our family. Tony Stark. The man who has caused many headaches but also many friendships. His personality wasn't for everyone but for those that accepted him for himself, he made a great impact. 

Tony gave me my first home, helped with making sure I had everything I needed even if I didn't really need it. Like a car, I rarely use it because I mostly stay home or walked to his house. He recruited me, although he sent Nat and Steve to apprehend me I still appreciated his support. 

I just wished Tony could have been alive to live the white picket fence life he wanted. No violence, no Iron Man, no avengers, none of that. Just him, Pepper, and Morgan. 

Currently getting Steven into a suit is  a mission. Sometimes he is too much like his father. He only likes to where comfy clothes, and if I get him in jeans it's automatically paired with a T-shirt or jacket. It's great he isn't fussy with Clothes but on occasions like today I can't have him in a T-shirt and shorts. 

"It's itchy mommy," He complains as I put on a black little dress shirt on him. 

"I know baby but you only have to wear it for a little bit."  Just as I finished tucking his shirt into his pants, Bucky walks in with his black jacket and black pants. 

"Why doesn't daddy have to wear the itchy shirt?!" Stevie cries out pointing at Bucky. I turned back to him and told him to go ahead without us. As angelic as this boy is he is still a child. "No, I want to go with daddy."

I left out a big sigh and got up from dressing our child for almost a half hour while he complained and cried. I turned to leave and see Bucky laughing at me. He took his hand out of his pocket and gestured for Stevie to hold it. 

"Just put his shoes on first." I started to grab a jacket for Steve and I, as well as a change of outfit for him just in case. I do miss Steve being a mama's boy, but I can't be mad that he is so obsessed with Bucky it's his turn after everything he missed out on.

As we arrive to the Stark house Steve makes a run for Morgan. I see him hug her and her hugging back. They are still too young to understand the events that went on and what is going on but I can't tell Morgan is sad. 

I told Steve Uncle Tony had to go away for a long time and that he isn't coming back. He did get sad and ask a lot of questions, even cried with me a bit. Then again he is a child so it doesn't last too long. 

I left Steve with Morgan for a bit in hopes he lifts her mood a bit. I stayed beside Bucky as we walked towards our friends. "You really had to wear a Jacket in front of Steve?" I whispered.

He laughed and brought the hand he was holding to his lips. "I'm sorry," he whispered to my hand. 

"You know, I didn't have a body to bury when you disappeared. Instead I planted flowers where you vanished every month. After out second attempt to bring you guys back failed, I gave up and I was in a really dark place." I felt his thumb rubbing the back of my hand as I spoke. 

"Then I found out I was pregnant and decided to maybe grief in a healthier way. I know how Pepper is feeling, but I know she is strong. Knowing your soulmate is dead takes a toll on you mentally," I stated watched Pepper make her way towards us. 

"I promise I wont ever put you through that again," Bucky promised. Although I have lived with the fact that when it's your time it's your time not matter what. I still appreciate him comforting me. 

We both greeted and said our condolences to Pepper. I squeezed her and rubbed her back as I hugged her. "I don't want any speeches, I just want to do our little ceremony and be together," she said releasing a sigh. 

I nodded my head and responded to her, "You're the boss."

We later gathered into their living room to watch the last recording Tony made before he died. We gather into the room watching a holograph image of Tony in a chair talking as if to us directly. 

"Everyone wants a happy ending, right? But it doesn't always go that way. Maybe this time, I'm hoping that if you play this back it's in celebration. I hope families are reunited, I hope we get it back in like a somewhat normal version of the planet that's been restored. If there ever was such a thing. God, the world," He whispered the last part to himself. 

"The universe, my bad. If you had told me ten years ago that we weren't alone, let alone to this extent, ,I would have been surprise but come on who knew the epic forces of darkness and light that came into play. And for better or worse that's the reality Morgan's going to have to grow up in." As Tony says that I resonated with it since Steven is going to have to deal with all these forces in the universe. I carried him in my arms to see his uncles last message to us. 

"I thought I'd probably better record a little greeting in the case on an untimely death. On my part.  I mean not that time is an untimely. This time travel thing that we are going to try and pull off tomorrow it's got me scratching my about this survivalbility of this thing. Then again that's the hero game, part of the journey is the end." Nothing he has said has been untrue, then again he was always the wisest along side the Captain. 

"What am I even tripping for, everything is going to work out exactly the way it's supposed to." I let tears fall out of my eyes as the terrible moments that occurred during our mission began to pop up in my mind. 

"I love you 3,000." With that the video ended with a smiling Tony. I placed a hand on Morgan's shoulder remembering that Tony was bragging that Morgan said she loved him 3,000.

Here was the moment we waited for. We waited outside and watched as Pepper, Morgan, and Happy walked out of the house with what was left of Tony in a beautiful flower bed. They walked in front of us and placed the bed of flowers with Tony's first arch reactor. Proof that Tony Stark has a heart. We watched as I floated  down the river. 

All of us watched in silence quietly saying our prayers, remembering the good times, or even saying their farewells. Rest assure that EVERYONE made it to this funeral because he was here for everyone. 

He will be forever missed.