01. i'm so sorry

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Hoyeon's POV

I was outside Jisung's room, hands together and crying. Jisoo was next to me, tapping my back and trying to calm me down. I covered my face with my hands. I was crying so hard and there is nothing that can stop my tears from flowing down my cheeks.

"This is all my fault.." I said again and again but Jisoo always replied, "No, no. It's not yours." I looked at Jisoo. "Why do you keep on saying that? It's not the driver's fault but mine."

Jisoo bit her lip. "I know that, but you'll cry even harder." I just glared at her.

There were series of footsteps coming and I heard Jisoo say, "Oh, Shinhyuk!" I felt someone sit beside me, who must be Shinhyuk, and felt her hug me. "It's okay, Hoyeon. Everything is gonna be fine."

The door to Jisung's room slid open and we looked up to Jihoon. "How is he?" I asked. "He's awake. You can talk to him again," I immediately stood up but Jihoon added, "Just don't ask him if he remembers you."

I raised a brow at him. "Why?" He sighed. "The doctor told me his head will hurt if you try to let him remember his past memories. He'll faint and his state would worsen if you do that."

I just nodded and slowly entered Jisung's room. I wiped all the tears and I put a small smile on my lips. I closed the door of the room and walked towards Jisung who was tapping his finger on his hand.

His eyes dropped to mine and he smiled. "Hello, Hoyeon." He sat up from lying on the bed and waited for me to sit on the chair beside him. "Hi, Jisung."

He looked at my eyes. Straight at it. I thought I was gonna see the love and affection that he shows me but it was just blank. I wanted to cry again.

"Did you cry?" He suddenly asked. I immediately shook my head and rubbed my eyes. "N-No, no. I just.. didn't get enough sleep as you did." I replied and chuckled.

I flinched when he suddenly took my left hand. My face literally burned as he slowly pulled my hand towards him. "It's okay to tell me. Why did you cry? Are you hurt?" He asked.

Because of his questions, I just wanted to break down and tell him I'm crying because he can't remember me, but that would make things even worse. "I'm just feeling down.. depressed."

"Why?"

"The boy I love doesn't remember me." I said. I thought he was gonna get it but he just tapped my hand and said, "It's okay. There would be a time that he would remember you."

I smiled and nodded. "I hope so."

We hear a knock on the door. I turned my head and there was Haechan and Shinhyuk. The sun smiled. "Hello." I looked at Jisung and he was giving me a questionable look. "Who are they?" He asked in a whisper.

I pointed at Shinhyuk. "That's Shinhyuk, one of our friends and that is Lee Haechan, her boyfriend and the most popular CEO here in Korea." The two waved their hands at Jisung.

He smiled. "Thanks for coming. You guys heard about me losing my memories, right? That's what Jihoon hyung said." Shinhyuk glanced worriedly at me before smiling again at Jisung. "Oh, yeah. Are you feeling fine now?"

Jisung nodded. "Yeah. I wanted to remember my memories but it will just make me forget even more." He replied as Haechan went to the side table to place the basket of fruits he bought.

"Thank you." Haechan smiled and backed away. "Why did you guys come here, by the way?" I asked. Shinhyuk walked towards me and hugged me.

She patted my back. "I know it's hard, but I hope he will remember you, Hoyeon," She broke the hug and looked at me in the eye. "Don't give up on him, okay?" I smiled and nodded.

Haechan also walked towards me and gave me a hug. He didn't say anything and smiled softly. "We have to go. Haechan still has a meeting." Shinhyuk said.

I looked at Jisung and he nodded. "It's okay. Thanks for coming by." They waved goodbye and left the room. "So? Did you quite remember them?" I asked. Jisung pouted (and I want to kiss him so bad) and shook his head.

"No, but I feel like they were really good friends." I chuckled. I wanted to say he even got jealous of Haechan but he won't remember that.

"Oh, it's nine," I glanced at the wall clock and Jisung was right. He looked back at me. "You only got a nap, right? Go home now, and sleep lots," He took my hand again.

"And don't cry."

And because of that, I wanted to.

I nodded. "Okay," I stood up. "Can I.. hug you before I leave?" I asked. Jisung smiled. "Why not?" He opened his arms and I slowly hugged him.

When I felt his touch, tears started to brim in my eyes and fall down my cheeks. I pulled away and immediately wiped my tears. "See you tomorrow."

"See you." He waved goodbye at me and I left his room. After I closed the door, I broke down into tears. I fell on the floor and sobbed.

I suddenly felt someone tap my back. I looked up and there was Jihoon. "Come on. Let's go home." He said and helped me stand up. We walked out of the hospital and he drove me back to Jisung and I's apartment.

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay? Alone?" Jihoon asked as I went off his car. If you're wondering, he bought a car just before the accident of Jisung happened.

I nodded. "Yeah. I just.. need some time alone." Jihoon sighed. "It was just like before." I remembered when he left me.

"Yeah," I agreed, "But this time, I lost him."

Jihoon gave me a sad smile. "I'll see you tomorrow, Goldilocks." I gave him back a smile. "Right after you, brother bear." He rolled the windows up and drove away.

I slowly walked inside the apartment. I locked the door and instead of going to my room, I went to Jisung's room. I slumped myself on his bed and guess what?

I cried.

I clutched our teddy bear Sungie in my arms and covered myself with his blanket. His smell lingers in his bed. I could sleep here forever.

"I'm so sorry, Jisung," I sobbed. "I'm so so sorry for not believing you."






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