Her love & her regrets

chapter 10# (unedited)

Aslam o alaikum guys

Fahad pov:

I don't deserve her, Aaliyaan went beyond the limits in her love and I went beyond the limits in her hate. How much trauma she'd been gone through just because of me. I've done so wrong to her. She would never forgive me when she'll know the truth. Maybe she'll leave me, this alone thought is tearing my heart apart. She deserve someone better than me but I can't leave her. Call me selfish but I can't let her go. I can't tell her truth either because then she'll hurt herself or maybe she'll hurt the innocent child. She would feel disrespected and dishonoured. I'll give this child my name, he's my baby.

I was lost in my thoughts when a fragile and soft thumb was caressed under my eyes, I immediately looked at her and smiled. All the sadness vanished in a second.

"Why are you crying? Is your leg hurting? Should I call doctor?" Hoorain worriedly asked as she sat beside me. I just shook my head.

"Nothing just feeling ashamed of myself for doing so wrong to you" I said, more tears gathered in my eyes as I saw her innocent face.

"I said it's OK and now please don't feel sorry again n again, this way you're also making me ashamed of myself" She said looking at her hands. Today I was grateful to Allah that he gave me my love of life. He gave me Hoorain, she was destined to be mine. She's mine.

Gently I lifted her face upwards by her chin and gazed every detail of her features, she blushed making my heart go wild, I wanted to kiss her, feel her so I cupped her face, I was about to kiss when she suddenly backed away.

"S-Sorry I-I can't" She stuttered rubbing her lips and ran away from there. I was hurt by her reaction, was feeling useless, she did right by rejecting me, I don't deserve her, she doesn't deserve me. I ran my hands in my hair in frustration. She doesn't love me. She still loves Aaliyaan. My heart was sinking to think like that. It's OK Fahad you should give some time and space to her, you've done so wrong to her now it's time to win her heart.

So many things had happened in those 4 months, life was not giving me any chance to recover from anything, everything was shattering me into pieces, Naila's death was the biggest nightmare of my life, then knowing that the person I loved whole heartedly was in love with someone else and they both were playing with me and my sister gave me another pinch in my heart, it practically twisted my heart, then discovering the truth that just because me my wife was raped. I was regretting, all my avenge was vanished. I was nothing now my ego, my pride,my respect all were dismissing from my life.

I disobeyed Allah by going to the wrong path, instead of asking for his help I took rescue from this bloody worldly haraam things, now I was regretting every day and night which I spent in drinking alcohol and making my life more miserable.

Ahtisham was missing, he shot me in my leg that day and went out only car, it's been 5 days he's still nowhere to be seen. Once I find him I'll give him handsome money to get hell out of my and my wife's life.

Hania pov:

"Why are you upset?" my Khala (mother's sister) asked me when she saw me playing with the food instead of eating it.

"Nothing just tired" I replied casually, pushing my plate aside and heading down. She came to my side and patted on my shoulder. I again sat straight.

"What happened honey. What's bothering you?" She asked, she had always treated me like her own child. I loved her so much.

" Faraz said yes to this purposal, coming weekend we are gonna get engaged" I told her, today uncle Ismail (Faraz's father) called me informed me that Faraz had said yes to the marriage and next week he's planning to arrange a function in there house here in Karachi.