The next whole day I didn't receive any message from Yawar about where the rendezvous will take place. I was quite optimistic now. It was as if he will come up with a solution.
I went downstairs to join everyone for lunch after two days. Slowly I was coming back to normal. The day of my Nikkah was an unending miserable memory and memories never leave, they stay till your last breath. And you just start to live with them.
My gaze fell at my father as i pulled out a chair to sit. He looked weak as well. May be it wasn't just me who was suffering.
My appetite died right away, I just fiddled with the spoon and the food in the plate.
"Riya, eat something."
I looked up at my father. That was his voice that made me realise I hadn't heard him in two days.
I nodded and looked back at my plate. Taking in a deep breathe, I peered at him again. Unexpectedly he was still looking at me. Was he noticing my dark circles? How could he even? I had applied concealer and foundation to cover them up.
I don't know what he was thinking at that time, I couldn't read my father's eyes as he instantly looked away.
I, too, turned to my food and had it until my stomach wailed for no more. How could I feel full when more than half plate was still unfinished. It could be due to my anxiety and not eating meals at time that my stomach had shrunk down.
I wanted to have a word with him but due to the coarse of events from the past few days I had started to think of him a stranger. He was not even treating me like his daughter. It was as if he had plenty of work before he could get to me.
Finishing up the food, I grabbed my phone and went to terrace to stride for a while and listen to a bit of music. Weather was quite windy today. Clouds had shrouded the heat of Sun.
'What's the point of keeping an unbeating heart: throw it away.
What's the point of giving your dead heart to your lover: throw it away.'
I was into the music but soon I ripped the hands free out of my ears. It was as if the lyrics were written on me.
I fiddled with the wires of my hands free for a while before making up my mind about confronting my father.
He said, it wasn't safe for me to live in Australia for I will be alone at home when he will be at work. But what now? He used to say all this before he got to know about Yawar. What is going on in his mind now? I needed to have a look.
Without having a second thought, I treaded to his room.
I knocked at his door and then opened it hesitantly.
"Baba."
It seemed as if he was finding something in his drawer but stopped when he heard my voice.
"Come, Riya." He stood up straight and held a hand out for me in a welcoming way. "How are you?"
"I am good." I nodded. What else I could say. The words had sailed away, and between them and me now laid an ocean. An ocean which I could do nothing about but stare at helplessly.
"So how is my child doing?" Father asked and I could just count the tiles on the floor.
He was asking me about my doings even tho he was the one who brought me into this. If he hadn't brought me to Pakistan, I wouldn't have met Yawar. I wouldn't have attended Kanwal's wedding. Hambal wouldn't have seen me--
