One place on Earth - Levi x Reader

One place on Earth - Levi x Reader - part 3

  Warning! The following chapter contains suicidal matters, bad language and dead people.

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The flashlight was on the floor, pointing towards the wall behind the two of you. The dead man who had attacked, was lying on the floor behind you, now being dead for good. You wiped away the man's blood from your cheek, before you pressed the hand back over the bite mark, squeezing your eyes close.

This is no real, not real, you kept telling yourself, even though you knew more than well that it was. Levi rested his hands on your shoulders, not knowing what to do. You looked at him, following his blank gaze that scanned around your body, always returning to look at the bleeding arm.

"Help me up." you tried to get on your feet.

He helped, and carefully let go of your shoulders after he was sure that you can stand on your own. You looked at the bite, trying to keep pressure on it.

"Well, this sucks." you laughed nervously. "I knew that this might happen one day, but now that it actually did... shit."

Levi walked restlessly in front of you, not knowing what to do with his hands. His foot bumped against the gun he had dropped and he crouched to pick it up. He looked at the pistol in his hand.

"I'm sorry." he finally spoke.

"There's no need for you to say something like that. This was my fault. I didn't check all the rooms before I opened the door. This is my own fault." you said to him. You backed away a few steps and turned you back on him, running your hands through your hair. "Fuck... What the hell do I do now? Do I wait until I go all crazy, or should I just kill myself now." you blabbered as you walked to the kitchen area.

"(Name?)" Levi said by the door.

"This is... this is just --" you kept talking in the kitchen.

"(Name!)" Levi hissed louder and you finally heard him.

"What?" you frowned and waited him to answer, but he remained quiet, staying still.

As it was finally quiet again, you heard growling from the outside. You stepped closer to Levi and you both tried to listen. More growling sounds. You looked at each other.

"It must've been the gun shot... the sound must have reached pretty far." Levi reasoned.

He quickly closed the front door and locked it, while you ran at the other end of the bureau and started pushing it forward. Levi came to help and you moved it in front of the door.

The growls came closer.

You pushed the couch over the door.

Footsteps on the porch.

"Turn that flashlight off." Levi whispered.

You quickly picked up the flashlight with shaking hands and pushed the switch.

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You sat on the floor, leaning against the couch. You had no idea how many hours had passed.

Levi walked from the kitchen and sat next to you. He placed a candle on he floor and lit it with matches. There was a lot of dead men roaming around the house earlier, trying to get to the source of the loud noise they had heard. The air was filled with different kinds of loud groans, gurgle and rough breathing. Some of them tried to reach their arms through the nailed planks on the windows. Some of them just slammed their bodies against the walls, but they couldn't get in, and eventually they scattered back to the forest. It had been quiet for some time.

Levi took a piece of cloth from his back bag and turned to you. You felt him place the cloth over the wounds on your left arm and pat it gently. You didn't react to his touch. Levi took his water bottle and was about to wet the cloth. That's when you snapped back to the moment and stopped his hand.

"Don't spoil your water. What's the point cleaning it if I'm going to die soon."

"It's filthy." Levi yanked his arm free from your grip and continued cleaning it.

You kept trying to stop his actions, but he stubbornly kept reaching the cloth towards you over and over again and it was getting really frustrating to keep on with it.

"Levi... just stop." you said quietly and pulled your arm away from. And for your surprise, he did.

"I don't want to see you like this. Let me, please." his voice carried out as a whisper.

You stared each other for a while. By now you were simply too tired of everything that had happened, so you gave up.

"Fine." you turned your head away.

You felt the wet cloth touch the wounds and you hissed to the pain as he tried to clean the deepest cuts. You glared at him and he started treating the wounds a bit more gently.

"How do you feel?" Levi asked.

"Like shit." you grunted. "Nothing ever works out and I'm angry, I'm frustrated..." you continued with a calmer voice, breathing out a longer pause before you continued. "and sad... and scared."

A tear fell down your cheek. You quickly wiped it away before it reached your chin. You took a big sigh and slowly turned your head back. You watched Levi's hands that gently cleaned the dried blood off your skin. When the wound was finally clean enough for his standards, he took another piece of cloth and wrapped it around the arm.

"Thank you." you said quietly as he was done.

"You're welcome."

Levi went to the kitchen and came back after a few moments with the one of the can of beans that we took from the house earlier. He sat next to you, offering it to you.

You shook your head. "No, you go ahead and eat. There's no point of wasting the food on me." you said bluntly, looking at the distance.

"Are you sure?"

You nodded.

You sat there in silence while he ate. He wasn't really hungry though, he only managed to force four spoonfuls of food down his throat, before he placed the can on the floor next to him. It was quiet again. The silence had spared you a good moment to think about your chances and you finally knew what to do.

"Levi... I'm gonna do it."

Levi raised his head and looked at you, while you kept staring at the wall.

"I don't want the fever. I don't wanna die and come back... trying to kill you too." you stood up.

You took the gun from your belt and looked at it in silence. Levi gazed at the floor, then he looked at the gun. His eyes moved up to your face, seeing the sad, but determined expression in your face as you looked at the gun in your slightly shaking hand.

Levi stood up. "I understand."

You were relieved that he said that, but at the same time some part of you had hoped that he would've tried to stop you. You dropped your arms on your sides and took a deep breath. You thought about what you were about to do, and the tears started aching your eyes again.

"If... if I do it upstairs, in the bathroom... behind closed-door, maybe the sound won't be that loud, and even if it is... you can just wait for them to go away again, and then.." you spoke through shattered breaths. You paused to wipe the tears off. "Then you can leave and... I'm sure you'll find your way back to your people, and maybe Hanji will be there too... just be care --"

You suddenly felt his arms around you. He squeezed you tightly against his chest and the surprise of his actions caught your breath for a moment. For a short second, your mind flashed back to a memory of something you didn't quite see clearly anymore. When was the last time anyone held you like this, you couldn't remember, but it felt good to be reminded how it feels like. All the desperate days, the horror, the pain, suddenly washed away.

You dropped the gun and wrapped your arms around him and hugged him back. "Thank you for everything. I'm glad I met you." you spoke into his shoulder. "I hope you get back safely, I really do."

"Just to let you know. You have made me smile today more than I've smiled between these past three years. I'm sorry that this happened to you, (Name)."

You slowly departed. You took the gun from the floor and stood in front of him, looking at his eyes. This was a better way to leave this world, doing it while you'd still be yourself, not feeling sick and empty from mind. You looked down at your hand, knowing it was the right thing to do.

"Hanji will kill me when she hears that I let this happen to you." Levi spoke again. "I'm sorry that you have to spend your last moments with me, and not with someone who matters to you and to whom you'd like to say a proper goodbye before you go. I'm nothing but a stranger and I've said a lot of stupid things, but, I hope you know I didn't mean to be a jerk." he heaved a deep breath. "You're a good person. You can't make decent joke, but, you're good company, and I'll miss you, (Name)."

The joke part made you chuckle, but in all honesty, his words felt like a punch in the guts.

"No, Levi." you looked at him. "You are a jerk, but, not in a completely bad way." you turned to face the stairs. "Thanks, I needed that last laugh."

"Well, I'm glad to hear I wasn't completely useless." he smiled.

You shook your head. "No. You're a good guy. I hope you know that."

You forced yourself to take the first step up the stairs. Something pleasant was twisting in your guts and you feared it would make you change your mind and choose the worst option. You reached the second floor, where you stopped to turn around to have one more look at Levi. He stood there where you left him, hanging his hands on his sides, just looking back at you.

You were glad to have him around, even if it was for a little while. You meant what you said. He is a good guy. Looking down at Levi, you saw him nod to you, and suddenly there was pain choking you from the throat.

"Goodbye, Levi." you managed to push the words out.

You hurried around the corner, opened the bathroom door and quickly closed it behind. You stepped over the bathtub and roughly pushed the dirty shower curtain to the side. You climbed in and pulled the curtain back over the tub. You sat in the corner and clicked the safety off. Eyes full of tears, you lifted the gun against the side of your head. All the events of these past three years were running through your mind in a messy order.

Do it... Do it!

You squeezed your eyes close and gritted your teeth. You thought of your family, your friends, how it all had come to this. There is nothing for you but pain and suffering, do it, you told yourself. You thought of Hanji, worrying if she was doing all right. You pictured Levi's face in your head, the way he looked at you from the bottom of the stairs. You placed a finger at the trigger, carefully pressing it, making it move just a tiny bit at a time.

"Fuck this shit, fuck this place..." you hissed through your teeth, angry and serious, breathing in, breathing out. The next inhale shattered, your mouth hung open. A silent cry came out, and you leaned back.

"Fuck..." you whimpered in the tub.


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