The Soul of a Bird Never Flies {boyxboy}

Chapter Forty

~Sunday 21st October 2018~

"You'll catch a cold out here," Dove was roused from his daydreams by Vivek's voice, shifting to the side to allow the man to sit down next to him, "it's winter, you should be wrapped up or inside," Dove smiled weakly, immediately resting his head on Vivek's shoulder, wishing he had opted for a drink with more caffeine rather than the green tea he was nursing.

"It's not that cold," Dove murmured drowsily, ironically feeling a chill tumble over his body, causing goosebumps to erupt over his skin.

"Are you OK?" Dove hated that question, he hated the implication and he hated answering it. It was pointless. Lying never convinced anyone, telling the truth led into an overly uncomfortable conversation. No good ever came from that question being asked.

"I'm not suicidal or anything, if that's what you're asking. I'm not wrought with guilt or having nightmares or psychologically scarred. I'm fine," Dove sighed heavily, allowing his eyes to fall closed for a few seconds, wishing he had just stayed in bed with Eryll for a little while longer.

"Dove, I meant because I heard you and Eryll going at it for like four hours last night," Vivek explained with a chuckle, although Dove didn't share in the laughter.

"Oh, yeah, that. Yeah, I'm fine," Dove muttered solemnly, not taking his eyes off the sun rising on the horizon.

"Did you have a fight or something? You're grumpy, I thought talking about Eryll's cock would have cheered you up, you didn't even blush. Not getting bored of him already, are you?"

"All we do is fuck," Dove saw the confusion in Vivek's expression, simply didn't acknowledge it, he didn't have the energy, "every night, for hours. I'm not complaining, as much as it sounds like I am. It just feels wrong. I should be grieving, I should feel bad, I killed my fucking uncle and I don't feel a thing. If anything, I feel better. That's awful," Dove placed his near-empty mug on the floor, laying down on the bench with his head in Vivek's lap, "I didn't want this," he whispered honestly, "becoming this heartless, distant thing is exactly what I was afraid of."

"You're not heartless, Dove. There's nothing wrong with being happy Roy is dead. He was your tormentor, you're allowed to be relieved that he's gone," Dove, shamefully, didn't really listen to Vivek, not allowing the words to sink in as he usually would, "you're corrupting your soul, Dove, becoming a demon isn't exactly an easy thing. Have you seen Eryll? He's not a smiley person, demons aren't. You have to understand, and I'm saying this bluntly because Eryll won't, you're giving up a part of you to be with him. You will change, no matter what he tells you, you will."

"I know that, I've come to terms with that. I'd do anything for Eryll, and now... I suppose I can say I would kill for him. It just bothers me how much it didn't affect me," Dove shifted slightly, tugging the blanket up to his chin, laying on his back so he could meet Vivek's eye, "have you killed a lot?"

"I haven't kept count but I doubt the number would be very small."

"Do you remember your first kill?" Vivek chuckled, shaking his head before sipping from his own mug, likely a coffee.

"I'm over fourteen and a half thousand years old, Dove, no, I don't remember my first kill. And I don't remember Eryll's either, but I did witness Noah's, if you want to know," Dove nodded, "Noah was little more..." Vivek paused for a moment, obviously searching for the correct word to describe the reincarnation, "fractured than you. His soul may have been pure but that boy was not. He clicked with Eryll immediately, since they had pretty similar mindsets, and he was informed of everything after two weeks, I think. Their relationship moved fast, maybe a little too fast. Noah was shockingly OK with having to kill, he was head over heels in love with Eryll, he'd do just about anything for the man.