11: interview

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Justin's PoV:

"How is everything going now?"

I listened to Dr.Bennett's voice for the last twenty minutes through my phone. Slowly but surely, I start building a relationship with him and talk about my desire for the drugs and that sometimes I lose myself and have some unusual thoughts.

"I still take my replacement, it's getting better but the side effects are so strong."

"Like what?" He asks me.

I pause and looked if Maia could hear me or if she was anywhere near to me. She wasn't. I just don't want her to worry about me, "I imagine weird stuff about my parents."

She will find out eventually but for now, I try my best to handle it myself and tell her very soon.

"Do you dream about them?"

I shake my head as if he could see me and look out of the balcony to stare at the trees and birds, inhaling the deep scent of nature and looking for peace, "no, when I close my eyes for more than a second."

"Hmm," I hear him writing something down, "what do you see?"

Oreo starts barking and I hear footsteps coming closer to me, she's here. My heart races a little and I thought about hanging up to his face but instead, I told him to wait a second. Stepping inside, my Angel almost crashed against me and smiled. Her eyes are shiny and she pinched my cheek, "who are you talking to?"

"It's Dr.Bennett, I'll go to my room," I let her know and she instantly understood that I wanted to be alone. She kissed my cheek and squeezed my chin before kneeling down to Oreo to play with him.

"Justin?" He asks for my appearance.

"I'm here," I shut my door and lay down to my bed, rubbing my eyes to avoid my imaginations about my mom especially.

"A huge side effect of your drug is psychosis. It contains imaginations, seeing shadows, things that aren't happening and hearing voices which aren't real, do you have those?" His voice is thick but caring.

My angel's voice gets in my head, telling me he just wants to help me.

It's okay to let someone in your head.

"Yes," I admit and felt like I exposed the biggest secret in the world.

"What exactly?"

"Before I go to sleep, I hear my mom's voice calling for my dad. Like they're fighting, she's crying, he's screaming at her," I slowly say and see him hitting her.

"When was the last time you talked to them?"

I didn't answer and swallow the knot in my throat down. My mom's blue eyes come into my mind, the way she always hugs me. Her warm hugs always comforted me instantly, like my angel.

The way her arms were so tight around me, the way she always smelled me. I miss her. I even miss her screaming at me, being mad at me for going out at nights and always asking for money.

I always hated how she pinched her hair on the shower wall and left it there, I even miss that.

But she doesn't miss me, she didn't think of me when she killed herself.

"My parents are both dead."

I told him a little more about my tragic life and he suggested to take anti-depression pills, which I disagreed with because I have a girlfriend who does have the same effect on me, even better. We agreed on another appointment once I'm back in Washington because I told him that I'm not depressed but have a habit to drag myself with pain.

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