Sabriel Insanity

(Yay I found more Questions)

Who the fuck put the peeps in the microwave?

Definitely NOT Sam. No way. Definitely not. There's no way he saw a meme about peep jousting if you jab little toothpicks on their sides and then microwave them, and there's no way that that idea blew up in his face when he tried it. And there's definitely NO WAY he used an entire box of Easter peeps trying and failing to make it work. None of this was done with the secret motive of him hating the way peeps tasted and not wanting Gabriel to eat them because it would make his mouth taste like peeps when they kissed. This totally did not happen, not at all, because Sam Winchester is above this and he would never.

.....Gabriel would though, cause he knows how to peep joust.

Who forgot to put the cat outside before sex?

Gabriel, because he gets distracted and honestly I don't blame him. When you're staring down the prospect of having sex with Sam Winchester, the freaking cat is the LAST thing on your mind- at least, until the meowing gets to you. Sam usually remembers, but sometimes Gabriel just- he does what Gabriel DOES and coherent thoughts leave the building. They've just settled for leaving their bedroom door shut all the time so the cat has a harder time getting in there in the first place. It works about 80% of the time see as cats are known teleporters. 

Who posts vines of the other doing embarrassing shit?

Sam does, seeing as he's a man with dignity so he doesn't do much embarrassing shit, but also cause anytime Gabriel yells out "SAM WATCH THIS" he knows to film it for entertainment purposes. Gabriel is in all of the vine compilations at least once, the videos are that stupid and popular. The one of him attempting to backflip off their bed and hitting the ceiling fan went viral and, according to Gabe, was 100% worth the broken arm. Sam disagrees, but he knows better than to try to talk Gabriel out of doing most stupid stuff, as any arguments about it will only lead to Gabe doing something three times as stupid.

Who breaks the most phones?

Gabriel. These are his most common methods of phone breakage:

-Dropped it

-Dropped it in water

-Used it to kill a bug and was a little too violent in the killing

-Accidentally threw it, usually while being dramatic

-Rage quit a non-rage game

-Lost it

And on one memorable occasion,

-Accidentally let a goat at the petting zoo eat it. 

Gabriel's phone madness is why they're banned from all zoos in the state. It's also why Gabriel uses starter, burner phones that are less expensive to replace.

Who dies first?

Ah crud, this isn't a fun one to think about. One would assume Gabriel, due to the way he eats and his general reckless abandon and knack for doing things he can easily get injured in. And as horrible as that is, it makes sense. In the long run, Sam can survive a world without Gabriel. He doesn't believe it, of course, but Gabriel knows it deep down. If he dies first, Sam will be fine. He will mourn and adjust like a normal person and then he will move on. He can find peace without Gabe by his side, although it would take awhile. However, the reverse is not at all true. Gabriel would be dead in a week without Sam. Sam is his impulse control, for starters, and the only human that makes him act like an adult and remember to pay bills and eat food that isn't just sugar in different flavors and forms. But Sam is also the love of his life. Sure, Gabe has slept around his fair share in life, had a few relationships, but none of those hold a candle to Sam. Gabriel is not the kind of person that believes in getting remarried. Sam is his soulmate. There's no moving on after he's gone. There's no point to any of it, and thus, Gabriel has to die first, because he can't live without Sam.

Which one could I see being lactose intolerant?

SAM. Come on. Imagine Gabriel trying to live in a world where he can't have milk chocolate. Actually wait, yes, please imagine it. This idiot still eats all the milk chocolate anyways, despite the intolerance, and always ends up getting super sick and miserable over it, although he regrets nothing, and Sam yells at him all the time for not listening or caring about his health. Sam could handle being lactose intolerant like a champ. His only problem with it is when Gabriel didn't know about it and took him out for ice cream. Then he was in trouble.

Who thinks they can do something really well even though they can't?

*unfurls a glittery banner that reads Gabriel*

Come on. The dude can't even die successfully. Gabriel thinks he's good at a number of things- cooking, doing laundry, cleaning, assembling IKEA furniture- he is realistically good at none of them. That's not to say he doesn't have things he's good at- He bakes heavenly, and Sam is still in awe of his boyfriend's organizational and multitasking skills.  But the man is HOPELESS when it comes to a few things, despite thinking he is perfect at everything he attempts. He once managed to turn a load of white laundry pink without even including any colored clothes. He got trapped in a fitted sheet once and had to be cut out of it. He once melted the tile on their floor while attempting to clean up a spilled soda, and after an incident that resulted in their leaning, wobbly bookcase, Sam builds all the IKEA furniture (Gabe messed up the furniture one on purpose. He just has a thing for watching hot people assemble furniture. It helps him bond a lot with lesbians for some reason). And as for cooking? Well, Gabriel thinks he's ready for Food Network. Sam disagrees, but he'll never say it to Gabe's face. That's apart of being in a relationship. You never admit how terrible somebody's cooking is. You smile and finish your plate and even ask for seconds. Sam will tell him the truth one day. Maybe.

Who is more likely to get kicked out of the bed?

Gabriel, for being obnoxious, but also if they're fighting. Fights between Sam and Gabriel are rare, but when they happen they are vicious. They always make up in the end, but sometimes they fight late at night and they're too tired to work it out or to keep yelling at each other, so Sam just marches into their bedroom, shouts a final remark and slams the door, effectively kicking Gabriel out and onto the couch for the evening. He also sleeps there sometimes when he plans to stay up super late and he knows Sam has a big work day the next day and he doesn't want to risk disturbing him. Gabe doesn't mind sleeping on the couch- he's small enough that he can still stretch out on it as much as he wants, but he hates when he sleeps there after a fight with Sam. At the same time, Sam hates sleeping in their bed alone after a fight, but they're both stubborn so neither of them budge. They usually make up the next morning just to avoid another miserable night apart. 

Who uses the computer most?

Sam, duh. Between his work, his love of fanfiction, and a secret addiction to wikipedia, he's almost always on the computer. Gabriel just uses the internet for funny cat videos and bulk ordering candy. Sam is in charge of all the electronics in their house as he's the one who knows every little thing about how they work, and Gabriel is the one banned from plugging in a phone charger because he WILL find a way to electrocute himself while doing it.