Sabriel Insanity

(Plz Give Me More Questions, I Love Them)

Which one sexts like a straight white boy?

I'm not totally sure what a straight white boy sexts like, but I imagine it isn't very good, so neither of them. Sexts with Sabriel should be illegal. Dean accidentally read some of the messages once, and ended up dry heaving out of horror, because Sam and Gabriel don't mess around when it comes to sexting. When they first started dating, Gabriel expected Sam to be a bit vanilla in the bedroom, but he was wrong. He was so very very wrong in the best way possible. Sam knows what he wants and he's out to get it, and when they sext it's no different, only it's somehow, Gabe thinks, even hotter because Sam is smart enough to put into words all the things he'd like to do whereas Gabriel is better at just doing them rather than explaining. He's more into the graphics of it all, the pictures, the short video clips. He gives a taste and leaves them wanting more; as a perpetual tease, it's what he's best at. He just isn't prepared for the fact that Sam can keep up, and wreck him in a few sentences.

Which one cried during a fucking Disney movie?

Oh come on. Both of them do, but Gabriel cries harder because he's a toddler at heart. It depends on the movie. The Lion King? Gabriel falls apart. Sam physically has to pause the movie after Mufasa's death scene every time because you can't hear the movie over Gabriel's wails. Moana? Sam has still not recovered from the grandmother's death, but they both like the songs so much they keep rewatching it, and then it breaks his heart all over again. And as for Up?

They don't watch Up anymore. They physically can't. There were vigils after the first five minutes. They wore mourning clothes. There's an unofficial grave for Ellie in their backyard. Up fucking destroyed them.

Who put a fork in the microwave?

Do any of you seriously think Sam fucking Winchester is dumb enough to put a METAL FORK IN THE MICROWAVE? THE MAN WENT TO STANFORD. OBVIOUSLY IT'S GABRIEL, NO ONE NEEDED ME TO TELL THEM THAT. He's the reason they've gone through four microwaves in six months, the fire department knows them by name, and there's a giant sticky note taped to the front of the microwaves with a list of things that CANNOT go inside it. Sam put it up after the first fork incident. Clearly, it's not effective.

Who does the silly hands-over-the-eyes "Guess who" thing?

Gaaaaaaabbbbbbeeeeeee. He can only do it when Sam's sitting because he's so tall, but that doesn't stop him from trying at other times. Sam thinks it's adorable. He knows it's always Gabe, of course, everyone else in his life has far too much dignity to even try it, but he still messes with Gabriel and says a few fake names first. It's the most purest, domestic thing they do if he's being honest, and Gabriel will never get sick of it. Sam tried it on Gabriel once, but it always dissolves into a discussion about how big Sam's hands are after that.

Who puts their cold hand/feet on their partner?

Sam, seeing as GABRIEL HOGS ALL THE FUCKING BLANKETS so he's always the one who's cold. He also goes for runs outside in the winter, and there's no better way to warm up his hands then by coming in, fresh off a run, and sneaking his cold hands up Gabriel's shirt until he screeches about it and shivers. He likes making Gabe shiver, but he loves making him suffer after he steals all the blankets.

Who had that embarrassing reality TV marathon?

This is Sabriel we're talking about. Clearly it was both of them. Gabriel started it, he's always loved soap operas and therefore drama and therefore reality TV. Sam hated it at first, but he was worn down until finally they just made an aggressive amount of popcorn and didn't move from the couch until they had watched every single episode of The Bachelor. They throw things and complain and yell at the TV about how stupid the shows are, but hey, that's just apart of watching reality TV.

Who laughs more during sex?

You would think Gabriel, but it's actually Sam. See, sex goes one of two ways for them. One, it's very serious and hot and neither of them laugh because they're so wrapped up in it that they forget how to breathe until it's over. Two, it's playful and slow and neither of them really care if they actually have sex or not because all that matters is that they're together, they're happy, and everything just feels good and right and wonderful. This is where the laughing happens, and as much as I'd like to tell you Gabriel laughs during sex, he just can't, because even when it's playful it's still Sam. Sam, who takes his breath away without even trying and is so deadset and serious in bed that even when he's giggling and clumsy and even a little buzzed, he still manages to make Gabriel fall apart. Being with Sam is no laughing matter, at least, not in the bedroom, and Gabriel is 111% okay with that because everything about being in a bedroom with Sam is hot. On the flip side, Gabriel is naturally a hilarious and goofy person, so when they get in a playful mood he cracks jokes, he tickles, he does things that make Sam dissolve into laughter even as he continues to leave bruises on Gabriel's skin. Sam can't help it. No matter how serious he wants to be, at the end of the day Gabriel is hilarious, and he can't help but laugh.

WHO IS THE LITTLE SPOON?

Y'all can argue with me over this one cause I can see it either way but ultimately....Gabriel. He's like a human teddy bear for Sam, and half the time he sleeps literally on top of the moose, of course he's going to be the little spoon. He loves the feeling of having Sam wrap around him, it feels safe and secure and warm and soft and he lives for it. Sam also loves the arrangement. He loves being able to hug Gabriel close and make sure he's safe and Gabriel is just so freaking huggable that it literally is like sleeping with a human stuffed animal, it's amazing. These two would live in bed together if they could.