Catfish: The Other Side of the Screen

Chapter 11- Everything post-catfish

My mom knew my head was everywhere and I couldn't continue going to school, at least for some time. But as much as she wanted me to feel better, she didn't want me to stay at home doing nothing. So, she persuaded me to get a job. My first job ever. Honestly, I was a little excited. I was going to start making some money and maybe that way my self-esteem would at least increase a little. I wanted to prove to myself and to my mom that I could be productive.

So, I applied for a job in a call center. I didn't know it back then but where I live, call centers are regarded as the worst job one could possibly have. They make you work an unbelievable number of hours and the pay is ridiculously low. My family was not rich by any means but I didn't have any actual need for money. So regardless of how much they were going to be paying me, I decided to take the job. To take my mind off of things; off of Rachel, off of my weight.

Days went by and my first day of training was approaching. I stared to get very nervous. I didn't want anyone do judge me or even bully me because of the way I looked. I was beyond scared but before I knew it, the day arrived.

I woke up that day determined to make the best out of the situation. I was going to be making my own money which ultimately would allow me to buy myself some things I would probably not get to buy otherwise. I looked for the most acceptable outfit I could find. I remember I went for tight black leggings (you can't ever go wrong with leggings), a bright neon pink sweatshirt that said ¨I love L.A¨ and white sneakers. My clothes were.... Decent. After I had my outfit down, I had to exploit the best attribute I had; my face. I did my make up as if I was about to meet someone really important. I used long hair extensions and fake eyelashes. Honestly, if I normally was a 2 out of 10, that day I jumped up to AT LEAST a 4 out of 10.

My mom drove me to my first day. Neither one of us said a single word on our way there. She finally pulls up in front of the building and turns to me.

Mom: Amanda, you're going to be fine. I know you're dreading this but this could be a good learning experience for you. I know you. Everything is going to be completely fine and you'll even make friends in NO time.

Me: I don't know if I'm actually ready to do this but here we are. Ill text you if anything goes wrong.

I opened the car door and gave a deep sigh. As I was standing I looked to the door and I saw this guy. He was probably 25ish. He had long, wavy black hair, hazel eyes and was tan. Oh Amanda, who was I fooling? A guy like that would never even talk to me. I shook my head as if I was trying to shake the idea out of my brain and started walking.

When I got to the door, I put my hand on the door knob and took one last deep sigh. I thought to myself ¨Okay, Amanda. Here we are. If this doesn't work out we can always look for another job. It's not the end of the world. Be strong and everything will be fine. ¨ I finally opened the door and took my first step inside of the company I would be working for the next few couple of months.

I looked around and to my surprise, none of them looked the way I had envisioned them. I don't know if it's because im so completely disgusted by my appearance but they were all... different. All I could think of was ¨misfits¨. I did it. I finally found a place where I would fit in without any problems. I was ready and determined to make out of this experience the best I ever had.

I went up to the fourth floor which was also where the cafeteria was situated. I looked for the training room and sat in my place. I was the first one in that room. That kind of gave me a little more tranquility because I could choose my seat and I could also see everyone as they were walking in the room. Up until that point, everything was going fine.

More and more people kept coming in and honestly, none of them were intimidating. It was the first time in my life where I felt completely comfortable in my own skin because there were weirder people around me. So, by comparison, I was the most normal or acceptable person in the room. I was so used to being the fat friend that I had never experienced being just another person in the room. I felt like that alone gave me a fighting chance. I was already looking forward to working in this place.