Catfish: The Other Side of the Screen

Chapter 12

That little conversation I had with Joe, was enough to get me very excited to wake up to go to work. I woke up around 3 hours earlier every day so I could take a shower, straighten my hair, do my makeup and look my very best for Joe. It became an obsession. In a way, that obsession came as a good thing. I had spent so much time feeling sorry for myself, locked in my room that having something to look forward to didn't feel anywhere near bad. It was good entertainment.

To the outside world; meaning my family, this was progress. They went from seeing me not wanting to go out of my room and being in pajamas 24 hours a day, to getting absolutely dolled up every time I went to work, every time I left the house.

The couple of days after that conversation with Joe happened, I kept trying to plan our next encounter. How I would get up to go to the bathroom when he did so we would run into each other, or how I wanted to be the one trainee who gave the most interesting comments or the one who was paying the most attention. Slowly but surely, he started to play my game.

Joe: I need a volunteer. Amanda!

I would stand up feeling the absolute best and I would sit in his adjustable chair whenever he asked me to. He noticed I would always readjust it to the lowest position I could because I liked when my feet were 100% on the ground.

Joe: Why are you bringing it all the way down.

Me: I just like to be on the bottom.

I don't know why I chose those words or that specific order but I ran into this one.

Joe: Oh, Im sure you do.

And he winked.

I couldn't believe it. At that point, I was completely sure this guy was into me! That was so exciting to me and I couldn't believe it. I was thrilled. I loved the feeling of being noticed for once in my life. All the other trainees knew it too. I could tell the girls in the room were jealous because of me. All of them would tease us. It was just perfect. We had a constant reminder that people knew there was a certain spark between us.

One day, what I had been planning for so long finally took place. I asked my mom to pick me up half an hour later because I wanted to go over the information with my trainer. So, I stayed in the training room and sat right in front of Joe as if to have a conversation.

Joe: What's up, girl?

Me: I'm just waiting for my mom to pick me up.

As I replied, I noticed he hadn't taken his eyes off of the Quran while he was talking to me. It seemed as if he had lost interest. Why though? Had I done something wrong? All of my insecurities came running through my head. Was it because I was fat? Was he attracted to someone else? I was so confused.

Joe: Okay. I have to go now because my dad is going to pick me up tonight. I'll see you tomorrow girl.

Before I could even answer anything back, he was out the room. That had officially been the weirdest encounter we had. I even thought about the possibility of him actually being scared to date me because I guess it was against the rules to date a trainee. But I mean, he had made jokes about it in class; in front of everyone else. Why would he change opinion all of a sudden?

Either way, I wasn't going to give up. That had been the closest experience I had to flirting and to having attracted someone from the opposite sex that I just didn't want to let go or give up.

The next day, I woke up 3 and a half hours prior to going to work. I was 100% determined to lure Joe in. I wanted him and I wanted him badly. I was going to do anything and everything it took to be attractive and interesting in his eyes. So, I started doing research about the Quran.