Catfish: The Other Side of the Screen

Chapter 13

Even though I knew Emma wasn't going to judge me for anything, I was embarrassed. I felt humiliated. I had been stood up. That hurt like a thousand knives. How dare this asshole do that to me? The worst part was that I wasn't going to be able to demonstrate how I felt about what he did because no one at work could find out we had hung out and I also didn't want him to think he was that important to me.

So, the next day when I got to work, I was completely decided I would act as if nothing had happened. I was going to give up on trying to go on dates with him. I felt stupid, embarrassed, humiliated, ridiculed. I had to give up. I was fat anyway. What were the actual chances that he would be interested? I felt like such a fool!

Joe: Hey, guys!

He didn't even acknowledge me! Obviously, he was also going to act as if nothing happened. But how dare he!? He hurt me. The least he could do was apologize. That day, he acted as if literally, nothing had happened. He didn't seem ashamed, and it didn't look as if he was avoiding me at all. I was shocked. I had never seen someone be so oblivious about having hurt someone. What the hell?

Joe: Hey, Amanda. Can we talk?

Finally! I didn't know what to do though. I knew he would lure me back into liking him if I let him talk to me.

Me: What?

Joe: I'm sorry about what happened. I know I was wrong. I just started picturing what would have happened if I met your family and I couldn't take the anxiety. I couldn't breathe properly and I started shaking. I had to get the hell out of there. And I'm sorry.

Me: You know, I would have understood perfectly if you would have said something. But you just left. Who does that? And If it weren't because you left your shit in my car, you wouldn't have appeared until today. It's fucked up.

Joe: I know. I mean, there's nothing I could really say to make things right but I didn't know what to do. I've never been in that kind of situation because I didn't grow up around people.

I turned around and left. I couldn't come up with a convincing enough argument to get him to apologize. I didn't have the energy to try to manipulate yet another man into apologizing. I couldn't believe he started blaming his asshole ways on his upbringing. What the hell happened when he was a kid though? All these questions and the curiosity started to absorb my mind.

Me: Joe, what about your upbringing? How did you grow up? It's impossible that you don't realize that what you did is rude and very wrong.

Joe: I grew up in a very Christian household. My parents are pastors. They only let me and my sister listen to a certain kind of music, watch certain tv shows and movies, hang out with only certain people. I grew up in a bubble. I don't know how to make new friends or even socialize for that matter. I turn into something I don't recognize. I start shaking and I can't breathe. That's why I left.

Part of me wanted to keep listening to him. But the other part was still very mad about what happened. I've always been the kind of person who thinks she can help everyone. That one person who can change someone's life. And from that point on, I thought I'd be able to help him become a normal person.

Me: Okay, Joe, I understand what you're saying. But you do realize that leaving someone by themselves at the grocery store is rude as fuck, right? I mean, if my cousin Emma wasn't there, I would have had to go through all of that bullshit my myself, because of you. I understand that maybe you're not used to going out with people like that but please, stop doing it. Because you're going to end up pushing people away. Pushing me away.

Joe: Don't worry, Amanda. It's never going to happen again.